#and why i'm so damn okay with who i am
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klutzytomb · 16 days ago
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I never thought I'd say this, but there's no way I'm one of the only ones here that isn't chronically online. Right? Right??
#PLEASE don't tell me this is genuinely how all of you view this#I'm not gonna make a longer post unless prompted but. there's no way so many of you are this chronically online. there's just no way#I mean this is the nicest way possible btw#some of y'all need to get some friends IRL. like genuinely.#if y'all are thinking that its evil to draw teens smoking weed or for there to be 2 year age gaps in high school relationships-#you do NOT know enough people. I'm being serious#don't get me wrong; some of the things being talked about are serious issues#(I am basically only referring to Louis when I say this. I hope you're doing okay man)#but the rest is stuff that is just so stupid I swear#I don't like engaging in drama hence why I'm not gonna tag the fandom or make this a big post outside of the tags#So much of this is the kind of thing you'd see in a 2018 DA ranters video and that is NOT a good thing#the combination of a lack of nuance + being teens with no life experience + hard opinions is soooooo ass#like this feels like the beginning of a clique who hates artistic expression#I saw one of the posts talking about how people in this fandom should basically be only wholesome or else you're evil and just. What??#Not how art works. not how liking a thing works. stop trying to police the people around you#when I say 'you' I am referring to the amorphous blob of people I'm targeting this rant at and not everyone btw#and I thought that me with my mental health testing approved black & white thinking pattern was bad. god damn#sorry for these tags being so long and ranty I just needed to yap about how I think a lot of this is stupid#if anyone following me doesn't want to follow me anymore due to this that's fine. idrc tbh#I could also like explain anything I mean in an actual post if anyone is confused by any of this#but otherwise this is my two cents#andy rambles
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tsuncda · 7 months ago
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so am i right or am i right in my assertion that bridgerton doesn't actually do character work, it just rebrands it's main characters before their season begins and tries to recontextualize them as poor little meow meows.
#olive rambles#watched the first half of season 3#was thinking to myself: huh. pen isn't that bad.#and then decided to rewatch some season 2 scenes to recontextualize who the characters are. y'know. so i can be an intelligent viewer#and all that jazz.#and damn you bridgerton i fell for your trap for a second there.#SHE'S NOT !!!!!!! THE SAME !!!!!!!! CHARACTER !!!!!!!!!#this isn't just about framing a narrative differently season 2 pen and season 3 pen are different girlies entirely#WHERE IS THE WRATH#i *want* a vengeful penelope featherington damnit#even if i don't like her as a person i could respect her as a character#and yet#they just make her a soft sadgirl#which also feels very cheap because women can be angry and messy and vengeful and still find love#honestly get polin out of here and get penelope angry again#i want to see BLOOD or season 2 is cheapened in retrospect#look me in the eye and tell me i'm wrong#you can't#i am the god of this chilis and i have spoken#i think over the summer i'm going to watch all of bridgerton over again so i can make a corkboard of theories#and be intelligent in my hate#PENELOPE WAS ANGRY AND LOUD ABOUT IT IN SEASON 2 AND SOMEHOW SHE IS NOW JUST SAD AND RUMINATING IN SEASON 3#BITCH WHEN AND WHERE DID THIS CHANGE TAKE PLACE AND WHY#AND ALSO FOR WHAT ANGRY ACTIONABLE CHARACTERS ARE DYNAMIC AND HARD TO PREDICT AND MAKE FOR GOOD CINEMA#SAD CHARACTERS THAT SIT AND THINK ABOUT THINGS ARE OKAY TOO BUT THEY ARE NOT !!!!! THE SAME !!!!! AS THE FORMER ARCHETYPE#AND THEY SHOULDN'T BE!!!!!!!!
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moe-broey · 5 months ago
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No context but I got So distracted. I did not set out to do All That today. I don't even know where the fuck I am anymore. It was all an impulse decision and I didn't even write down the second distraction because it was So Strong. In my mind. But then a second distraction hit my two braincells. I have no idea whwre I am anymore. I was just gonna whip up a shitpost doodle and then go back to my main project. I never even got to the shitpost doodle. 🧍
#okay fine full context. i was hit w a vision last night due to a pet peeve like No Hate but Damn#people will really just put any guy in this specific format. and obvs epic trans headcanons forever i have nothing but respect 🫡#but like. it just irked me and made me ask myself Well. who WOULD fit this format in my beautiful mind palace#who. in my mind. has LAYERS of lore surrounding my trans hc for him. who would fucking say that. some sort of mentor perhaps#and who would ASK him that. what would PROMPT that. under WHAT PLAUSIBLE CONDITIONS#esp i think bc the topic makes me so fucking dysphoric too i go insane and die 1000 deaths about it routinely#to the point where i straight up almost never talk about it. i refuse to even acknowledge it.#which is. i think why this got to me so much LMFAOOOOOO I'M. ANGRY. HOW DARE YOU HAVE FUN WHILE I'M DYING. BADLY.#in a way that i just could never allow myself to have fun w bc I Am Above It. you CANNOT get me. i'm WINNING.#takumi has too much pride so not him. moe has too much pride so not it either.#no.... this is. a job. for Bruno.......#and sharena my best friend sharena my sillie goofy about to jump to the most INSANE conclusion bestie sharena 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#but then. realization. i have to revisit my 'back in the day' designs for the askr sibs and ESP bruno.#and honestly i just needed to completely revamp him. okay. no probalm! 👍 i am revisiting my back in the day alfonse hcs#really Thinking about them. i doodle One Thing about how if alfonse wants to build any muscle#he needs proper nutrition. he is SCRAWNY. he is TWIGGY. he only has weight in his thighs abd really not as much as he shoulf#i get distractef. i am making a comic. anna is there. she is also a mentor. the comic is about learning life skills/food#I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS. I CAN'T FORGET. I NEED TO GO. GOODBYE#worte it down but alsp i got plans i gotta go for REAL. GOODGBEY
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savage-rhi · 1 year ago
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I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.
#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to#place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like#LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee#so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of#people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take#a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM)#the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore#ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team#but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up#graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made#my adhd brain go WELL SHIT#ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do#love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving#people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt#but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel#amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou#life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i#just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive#but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present#and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now#on a positive note...#my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made#a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little#im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor#i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it#but damn it im tired#thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave#if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you#please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you
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malachitezmeyka · 11 days ago
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I think That Woman is genuinely trying to kill me
#you know what she said to me today?#'well. since you suck at writing essays and I'm sure you don't want to write a test. how about a creative assignment?#remember that project idea you suggested? do that. right now. sit and rewrite a chapter of War and Peace in your reimagining'#and like... first of all. bold of you to assume I remember any particular chapter well enough to rewrite it#even all separate events mashed together. because that's what happens when YOU MAKE ME READ 1200 PAGES IN THE SPAN OF THREE WEEKS#but okay. fine. I was allowed to look up references. maybe any other person could have managed something#but second of all. my only reference for the vibe I'm supposed to be going for is ONE BOOK THAT I READ TWO DAYS AGO#PLUS I HAVE ZERO KNOWLEDGE OF THE ACTUAL HISTORICAL EVENTS BECAUSE WE SKIPPED OVER IT IN CLASS#AND THIRD OF ALL. THE WORST THING. IS THAT I CAN'T JUST SIT DOWN AND WRITE#NOT WITHOUT PREPARATION. NOT WITHOUT AT LEAST A VAGUE IDEA OF WHAT I'M GOING FOR#AND NO. 'IMAGINE NATASHA ROSTOVA AS A KOMSOMOLKA' ISN'T AN IDEA. IT'S SOMETHING I COULD DRAW WITH REFERENCE PICTURES#BUT NOT WRITE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT KIDS DID IN THE KOMSOMOL. THE VLKSM WAS DISBANDED BEFORE MY MOM COULD BE A PART OF IT#and I know it's stupid. I know I shouldn't be upset over not being able to do something I wasn't prepared for#and it's fine!! I was allowed to take it home!! I can come up with something in the privacy of my apartment#where That Woman won't be hanging over me. judging my every move#it's fine. it's literally fine#I know it is. so why am I so damn upset??#I guess.. failing at writing has become such a huge trigger for me that even when it comes to tasks absolutely nobody–#could manage without prior preparation... I just break down if I fail#it took everything in me not to break down crying in front of her. even though I really really wanted to#because first of all I do not trust her at all and don't want to be vulnerable in front of her#and second of all. how could I possibly explain 'oh yeah failing at writing makes me extremely suicidal bc I'm fucked in the head'#'and yet I won't quit because I'm s fucking masochist who likes being miserable apparently'#and I was doing so well writing wise before this... NSND is almost 16k words long and I didn't have a fit over it once#I managed over 8000 words over the weekend translating Tomorrow was the War and actually ENJOYED doing it#I don't enjoy writing. it was.. almost thrilling. to like the process#now I don't want to do anything at all#what's the point if I can't even handle a simple school assignment?#it's not her fault I'm a fucking crybaby who can't indulge in a hobby without becoming hysterical#I should've quit writing after AIDIB like I wanted to. maybe then none of this would've happened. maybe then I wouldn't feel like such a POS
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pom-seedss · 6 months ago
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I know someone who is cis and het and extremely accepting and supportive of the queer members of their community.... who cannot attend Pride events (even working events that their employer puts on!) without being disowned by their entire extended family. Whom they rely on for financial, social and childcare support.
I was shocked to hear that when this friend admitted it to me, especially because they'd always been really supportive of me, personally. But I also know things like this used to be FAR more common when I was growing up.
Even if you weren't just considered guilty by association (obviously you have to be queer to be defending queer folks, right??), you were still considered an enemy to "normal people" by "indulging/enabling" the queer community.
Allies have always, and apparently still do, face consequences for standing with us. Allies need to know they will be supported and cared for if they face consequences for standing up with us too. Remember: Allies to the queer community are often seen as Enemies of the status quo and thus enemies to the bigots trying to preserve it!
We can't expect anyone to stand with us if we are just going to drop them and spit on their name when things go poorly for them.
A stands for ally. A stands for agender. A stands for Asexual. A stands for Aromantic. A stands for... I am sure other identities and groupings that stand with us all.
Guys, allies are a part of the community. They always have been. They always will be. We fucking need them to be. We have to support them as they support us. This is a mutually beneficial relationship, not a one way street.
since it’s pride month. reminder that queer people having a healthy sex life is normal. queer people can have kinks. lesbians can express attraction to women without being gross or predatory. gay men aren’t scary. trans people are valid no matter where they are in their transition. asexual and aromantic people are included in our community too. non-binary people don’t owe you an explanation. bisexuals don’t have to “pick a side”.
we all have different experiences but we should all try our best to make each other feel welcome.
and the A has never stood for ally. hope this helps.
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icannotgetoverbirds · 8 months ago
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*suddenly stops worrying about everything*
...
what.
*worries about the fact that I'm not worrying about anything*
#byrd chirps#Byrd's business#it's really fucking bizarre y'all#also I'm posting this on main because i need answers#what the hell is going on#it's not like I don't care anymore.#it's like i just am completely unable to believe that things won't turn out okay#I'm about to lose my shelter! why did my brain stop ringing the alarm bells to get my ass in gear and get things done?!?#it's not like i don't *want* to get things done either. it's just. i no longer feel like i have to.#which is very much not the case!#it could be a combination of things really#a recent realization about myself#getting over my mother and her bullshit#getting enough sleep#not having severe digestive issues anymore#getting back in contact with my cousin who believed me when i told her what happened#i don't know. it feels like the universe is trying to tell me that everything's going to be okay#even if i don't get my ass in gear and get things done#which i refuse to believe#i refuse to consider that I'm going to die out here even though I've already accepted the possibility#but i also refuse to believe that the universe is going to pull some strings to put my life back together#because as nice as that would be I'm not about to put my faith in a higher power#when i have been surviving only thanks to my own grit and my support system#shoutout to literally everyone who's ever checked in on me btw y'all are keeping me alive#but yeah is the alarm bell broken? or is it being silenced by some higher power telling me to let them handle it?#either way I'm not leaving it up to fate#any higher power that knows me should know damn well that I'm not about to put my faith in them over a strong sense of peace#so even if it is somehow some kind of higher power I'm gonna go with#'they don't want me to have a breakdown when i need to be getting shit done' as opposed to#'nah they can sit back and relax and I'll take care of things'
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astonmartinii · 3 months ago
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the king of monza can do what he wants | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem alonso!reader
the king of monza can win the race, have his relationship exposed and challenge his soon-to-be father-in-law to a duel, he can do what he wants.
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
oscarpiastri
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liked by olliebearman, danielricciardo and 432,095 others
tagged: lilyzneimer, yourusername, charles_leclerc
oscarpiastri: double header means we crashed on my adoptive parents' couch and forced them to cook for me (only y/n, obviously)
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user1: does he know this isn't his private account?
user2: SHUSH DON'T TELL HIM
user3: we need to enjoy this while it lasts
jackdoohan: oscar, there's still time to delete this
oscarpiastri: why would i delete this?
oscarpiastri: oh
oscarpiastri: oh no
jackdoohan: you might want to warn your kinda dad you've exposed the identity of your kinda mum as your kinda grandad is probably putting out a hit on him as we speak
fernandoalo_oficial: don't call me a grandad 👿🤬😡😠💢😤
jackdoohan: OSCAR QUICK HE'S DISCOVERED EMOJIS HE MUST BE REALLY MAD
user4: fernando, are you okay?
fernandoalo_oficial: i want that frenchies head on a stick
charles_leclerc: i am monegasque!
fernandoalo_oficial: so you do actually want to die?
yourusername: okay let's calm down old man
fernandoalo_oficial: SILENCE I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! THAT'S THE MAN?
yourusername: yes!
fernandoalo_oficial: no.
charles_leclerc: i object!
lancestroll: his eye hasn't stopped twitching since
charles_leclerc: i don't care! he might be crazy but I'M IN LOVE SO BRING IT OLD MAN
user5: wtf have i woken up to this morning
user6: the public execution of the prince of monaco
yourusername: just because he has a samurai tattoo doesn't mean he knows how to use a sword
fernandoalo_oficial: i will tear him apart with my bare hands
user7: i fear this comment section alone has undone all of his funky grandad tiktok PR
user8: he's going to make charles cry in the press conference
yourusername: oh well, charlie is hot when he cries
user9: and how do you know that...
yourusername: that's none of your business 😈
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yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 2,312,088 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: italy has my heart and so do you <3
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user11: queen got exposed and immediately started flexing her unbelievably sexy bf
yourusername: why wouldn't i? he's so damn FINE
charles_leclerc: teehee (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
user12: you might as well have told me to kill myself
fernandoalo_oficial: enjoy your weekend charles, it will be your last
charles_leclerc: and if i win? i think suspended sentence?
fernandoalo_oficial: @carlossainz55 i have a proposition for you
yourusername: why are we acting like he wouldn't do that for free
carlossainz55: excuse me?
yourusername: i'm calling you a jealous bitch xx
carlossainz55: what is your price nando?
fernandoalo_oficial: i'm not fucking paying you, i was assuming you'd do it in a jealous rage anyway
carlossainz55: ???
user13: the way carlos is being jumped from both sides unprovoked
user14: which ever alonso it is, they choose violence
oscarpiastri: so ... am i off the hook yet?
yourusername: you know we can't say no to you
fernandoalo_oficial: oscar you might actually be my favourite now, thank you for bringing this to my attention
oscarpiastri: sure i'll take it!
charles_leclerc: you can have my heart and everything else for as long as you want
yourusername: looks like you'll never get it back ;)
charles_leclerc: that's fine by me if i get to spend it with you
yourusername: i love you :P
charles_leclerc: i love you more ( > 〰 < )♡
fernandoalo_oficial
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liked by jensonbutton, aussiegrit and 1,209,566 others
fernandoalo_oficial: cash prize for anyone who can actually track down this little rat - i just want to talk i swear
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user15: it's official everyone, he's gone crazy
user16: as crazy as he is at least he's bringing the DRAMA 🤩
yourusername: this isn't very peace and love of you
fernandoalo_oficial: that has never been the way in this family
fernandoalo_oficial: but let me make this clear, i mean in a destroy all of your enemies way rather than a jos verstappen way
maxverstappen1: ???
yourusername: destroying our enemies does not mean you can do your best jos verstappen impression and drive your aston martin into charles
fernandoalo_oficial: don't be stupid y/n, the aston martin is too slow, i'm going to steal his brakes
yourusername: and how will you do that boomer
fernandoalo_oficial: ferrari are stupid they probably still haven't changed the passwords or locks since i left
yourusername: @scuderiaferrari excuse me???
scuderiaferrari: ....
user17: so like this is a genuine hit?
user18: mob boss!fernando alonso you are so special to me
user19: sorry charles but it's so sexy
charles_leclerc: drop the address senor i'm not scared of you
lancestroll: he brought the samurai sword btw
yourusername: @f1 DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANY SECURITY MEASURES ???
f1: it made a good tiktok 👍
yourusername: you people are useless
charles_leclerc: no worries my love it's all under control
fernandoalo_oficial: i will carve you like a christmas turkey
yourusername: you go anywhere near charles with that sword we're both going romeo and juliet style
user20: what on earth is going on
user21: just smile and wave i think we're watching collective hysteria
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f1
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 3,562,778 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
f1: CHARLES LECLERC WINS FOR FERRARI AT MONZA
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user23: bro heard fernando was gonna steal his brakes and simply just drove so fast he didn't need them
user24: he was like 'oh you want my head on a stick? TRY AND CATCH ME'
yourusername: pretty boy is so so talented it's not fair
yourusername: who am i kidding
yourusername: STUNT ON THOSE HOES I LOVE YOU BABY
charles_leclerc: thank you baby, i simply had to drive so fast so i could give you a kiss
charles_leclerc: and also so i could tell your dad to SUCK ON THAT OLD MAN
user25: he's had too much champagne and might actually get himself killed
user26: i will throw myself in front of that sword for him
yourusername: you and me too buddy - i'll cover your drinks for this evening
fernandoalo_oficial: i still want him dead
charles_leclerc: what the fuck do you want from me? i just won? did you see that freak of an orange car? i look after your daughter like i looked after those tyres
yourusername: so romantic 🤭
fernandoalo_oficial: he just compared you to tyres? have some standards i raised you better?
yourusername: believe me, i do have standards - he's special xx
fernandoalo_oficial: i also won monza with ferrari he's not that special
user27: at least he's stopped with the samurai sword talk?
user28: he did say he still wants him dead though
maxverstappen1: @yourusername why couldn't you have dated lando? would've made this championship a lot easier
landonorris: HUH?
yourusername: please refer to my previous comment about standards
charles_leclerc: hehehehehe
landonorris: HUH???
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc: grazie mille tifosi !! this is for you and all of your support. i'm glad my family and my love were here to see this win as well. fernando, bring your sword, i'll fight for your daughter's hand.
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user29: i love this family and i've known them a week
user30: fernando might have to go through me as well at this point
yourusername: i love you so much and you have deserved this and more for so so long xx
charles_leclerc: i couldn't do it without you (and our weird little grid family)
yourusername: you're my favourite person in the world and i just love to see you happy
charles_leclerc: you make me the happiest man in the world
yourusername: i love you
charles_leclerc: i love you too
user31: as cute as all this is ^^ where is this duel
user32: can someone PLEASE STREAM IT !!!!! I WILL PAY
user33: I NEED IT I NEED IT
fernandoalo_oficial: come outside
lancestroll: he spent all of the debrief sharpening the sword btw
charles_leclerc: i'm ready girlypop
fernandoalo_oficial: GIRLYPOP ???
yourusername: PEACE AND LOVE BOZO
maxverstappen1: can we get this show on the road please?
lewishamilton: charles please hurry up i've got some serious cash on this tussle
yourusername: how much we talking?
charles_leclerc: i might die and you're checking the wager?
yourusername: because i have faith in you !!!!
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, fernandoalo_oficial and 2,136,344 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: he's alive and he's a winner! the king of monza can do what he wants
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user35: prince of monaco? king of monza? bro is collecting titles
yourusername: my husband next 🤞🏻
charles_leclerc: bet
user36: is ANYONE GOING TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENED IN THE DUEL
georgerussell63: it was extremely unprofessional and there will be an extensive powerpoint covering how this won't happen again
fernandoalo_oficial: i'll fight you next time george
user37: don't go off TOPIC
charles_leclerc: i out strategised him lol
oscarpiastri: what he means is that he surprised fernando from behind and wouldn't stop hugging him until he agreed that he wouldn't skewer him like a kebab
charles_leclerc: and it worked! now look he's on my boat giving me his blessing
user38: you're telling me charles hugged his way out of the conflict?
user39: perhaps the most babygirl he's ever been
user40: we need the pictures SHOW IT TO ME RACHEL
fernandoalo_oficial: fine, i guess he's okay. i'm not calling him the king of monza though
yourusername: i knew you'd come around
fernandoalo_oficial: i love my daughter SORRY
yourusername: don't lie to me you only calmed down and accepted it because i called in the reinforcements
user41: i'm crying she called babysitters for her dad
yourusername: jenson and mark, idk how you deal with him
jensonbutton: the stress of him and his antics keep me skinny
aussiegrit: i think we're all trauma bonded
charles_leclerc: i'll be the king of monza, if you'll be my queen
charles_leclerc: and i will continue to do what i want
yourusername: i'll be your queen anywhere you want
yourusername: and if doing what you want includes fighting my dad... let's turn it down a lil
charles_leclerc: for you, i'll do anything
fin.
note: here yall go - this was in my drafts half done from monza weekend but life got crazy
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angeltism · 1 year ago
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I should deactivate actually
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nochepsicodelica · 16 days ago
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. ๋࣭݁ 。˚ The Drunken Collection
-
You wake up to the sound of your phone vibrating and sluggishly reach to grab it from where it rests on Toji's nightstand. You squint at the blinding brightness of your screen and answer the phone.
-Hello?- You say, your voice quiet from being abruptly woken up. You get a deep laugh on the other end as an immediate response.
-Who's this?- Toji gasps after checking his phone and seeing your contact name and picture on the screen. -It's my babyyyy. My baby baby.-
-Toji...- you start, unable to get through the sentence without letting out a tired laugh. He sounds drunk. -You okay?-
-No, I don't know where you are. I checked every room in this stupid house. It's like a fuckin' maze and I can't find you. Are you actually hiding from me, doll?-
You hear him open another door, followed by an almost inaudible "hello" away from his phone, and then a few seconds of silence, before he slams the door shut again. You figure you should let him know where you are before he breaks one of the doors from the force he's using to shut them.
-Baby?- you call, hoping he's listening.
-Not in that one either. Damn it, ma. You're scaring the hell out of me. Just... just tell me where you are. Gonna fuckin' throw up... Where are you?-
-Toji, go have some water and relax. I'm not there. I'm home, in bed.-
-Really? Why the hell am I even here, then?-
-You're out with friends, baby. Don't worry too much about me. I was sleeping just a couple minutes ago.-
-Sleeping? Without me?- He scoffs, a sudden mild sting in his chest taking main priority over his nausea. -You don't miss me, do you?-
-I do, baby. I miss you lots, but...-
-Then, i'm coming home. Easy. Byeee, love you.-
Before you can get another word in, you hear the dial tone. You sigh and click your phone off, before rolling off of Toji's side of the bed and transporting to the living room to sleep a little longer on the couch, since you have a delivery coming soon.
Forty minutes later, you wake up to the sound of knocking. You spring off the couch and make your way to the door. Looking through the peephole, you see Toji and Shiu, a notable contrast in their demeanors. Shiu looks composed, as usual, and Toji... not so much. You open the door, greeting both of them with a smile.
"Hey, Shiu. Thanks for bringing him home," you say, opening the door a little more for them.
"Ah, it's not a problem. He threatened to punch a hole in the wall if I didn't drive him home, immediately. Kept whining and crying about how you went to sleep without him." The brunette chuckles.
"Hiii, pretty baby," Toji coos at you, cheesing so hard that his cheeks go red. The smile drops when he turns to the man behind him. "Shiu, go 'way. Gonna treat my girl real fuckin' good." Toji turns to look at you again with a devilish smirk on his face, before waddling over and shrinking you in his embrace.
"Toji." You manage to peek at the spiky-haired man behind your giant, offering him a polite smile through the squishing you endure from Toji.
"Nah, he's right. The wife's waiting for me, so I do gotta scram."
"Thank you, Shiu. I really, really appreciate you bringing him back. Say hi to your lady for me--" You cut yourself off with a sound that resembles the squeak of a dog toy when Toji squeezes you tighter in his arms.
Shiu laughs, nodding in response to your extended greetings. "Will do. Goodnight."
The door shuts and it's just you and Toji. Certain parts of his shirt reek of alcohol, like he spilled some of it on himself and it dried up.
"Baby, that was rude," you say, lifting your head off of him.
"Mm," Toji grunts, dismissively, his arms keeping your body firm against his. "Not my fault he wouldn't leave. Rushed him for a reason, too. Wanted to see my baby, already." He smirks at your perplexed expression, before leaning in and stealing a kiss from you. Yep, you can still taste what he drank.
He groans, like he just took a big sip of cold water on a scorching hot summer day. "Been wanting to do that for hours. More, more," he says, leaning in again. You give him a couple more kisses before pulling away. "Gimme a kiss, yeah, baby?" he requests instantly after. You try not to laugh at how he sounds like the birds in those funny videos, where they talk and make the obnoxious kissy noises.
"Last one, Toji. We have to--" he cuts you off by putting his lips on yours. Not exactly a kiss, but your lips are right up against each other, and you can hear him humming out giddy little laughs. When he pulls away, he makes a popping sound with his mouth—his rendition of the obnoxious kissing noise—and smiles like an idiot. This manages to break your composed bearing, easily luring out the laughter you tried so hard to stifle. "What are you doing?"
"Kissing," he says, with a dumb grin. "One more, one more."
You want to see if he does it again, so you regress what you said about that last one being the last one, and let him kiss you. Lo and behold, he makes the popping sound, again, right after separating from you, following it with a chuckle.
"Again?" He asks, not waiting for you to answer before he steals another kiss and does the pop! again.
"That's how you kiss?" You ask him, unable to contain the smile on your face.
"Mhm. You like it, huh? You want more, but you just don't wanna admit it." He gives you a teasing grin. "Don't even-- don't even worry, doll. I see you. You're all I see," he says, guiding your head back to rest on him. He smiles with his eyes shut, something that could easily lead to him tipping both of you over if he falls asleep. "Missed you lots, bug. Bug... mmm..." He sighs, nuzzling his nose into your hair. "Got myself a little lovebug," he murmurs, a small laugh following.
"Yeah, I missed you, too. Don't you want to go to bed?" You ask, not moving in his sturdy hold.
"Are you going, too? I'm not gonna go if you're not going, so don't even try to send me off alone."
"Toji." You giggle, shifting to look at him, again. "Why wouldn't I go with you? We always sleep together."
"I don't know, maybe sleeping without me, earlier, made you realize you like sleeping without me, better."
"You're still on that?" You ask, only getting an affirmative hum in response from him. "I slept on your side of the bed, if that makes you feel better," you say, attempting to reason with him. Again, he simply hums. "I even hugged your pillow, and used your nightstand. The whole time, I was hoping you were having a good time with your friends, and then, I fell asleep. I fell asleep thinking of you, baby."
A smile forms on Toji's lips, his scar lifting, like the rest of his features upon taking in this new piece of information.
"Yeah? You thought about me? You missed me?" There's a gleam in his tired, fern-colored eyes, as he looks at you, awaiting your response.
"Of course, I did. We weren't in bed together, so of course I was going to miss you and wonder about you."
He laughs, the sound coming off as something of relief and release of what gnawed at him for way too long. "Okay," he chuckles. "Yeah-- yeah, I forgive you, mama," he says, pulling you into a bear hug that is so tight, that it lures strained groans and squeaks from you, due to the pressure on your body. "Love you," he murmurs, pressing multiple quick kisses to the top of your head. "Fucking love you, gorgeous. Love you."
"Love--" you snicker. "Love you, too, Toji. Let's go to bed, alright?"
"Mhm. Take me with you," he says, releasing you from his hold and giving you his hand, entrusting you to guide him to the room, while he trails behind you, slowly, like a shadow.
2K notes · View notes
baby-yongbok · 4 months ago
Text
OnlyFans
Best Friend!Yang Jeongin x Afab!Reader
✦ Genre: Friends to Lovers - non-idol - [18+ Only]
✦ Content Description: 6.6k + 11 screenshots
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✦ Summary: Your best friend finds out about your OnlyFans account which leads to you discovering how you really feel about him.
✦ CW: Unintentional exhibitionism(?), Unprotected sex [wrap it up party people] ✦ A/N: This is my FIRST Jeongin fic and I am hella excited! (and nervous) I really hope that you enjoy it! This is a hybrid of fake texts and story so make sure to open it all the way to see it all! AHH I'm so nervous.+ reader is depicted as chubby/plus size and is a POC ♡ ✧ Masterlist ✧
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Sleep abandoned you after you and Jeongin spoke, your thoughts were everywhere and nowhere and your body was working against you. Why does the fact that your best friend thinks that you’re hot turn you on? Why are you imagining him touching himself to the sounds of you moaning while you fuck yourself?
 Is he big? 
How would he feel? 
Wait - how did he not recognize your voice? 
You never show your face, only the shoulders down, but you’ve uploaded voice notes. You’ve done tons of horny rambles that he had to have listened to. Okay, wait wait wait, does he only get off to you? He said that you’re the only girl that he follows on the site… Okay, stop, brain shut the fuck up. 
The next day you tried to operate how you normally would. You went to the gym, you got your morning coffee, you thought about Jeongin moaning at the sight of you, you screamed in your car and you went back home. Honestly, this is working out great. 
You did everything that you could to distract yourself from the unending thoughts. You did laundry, watched TV, skipped rope on your balcony, you even started color organizing your closet. That’s when your phones started ringing with that tone that you know all too well.
 You stared at it for what felt like a second, you tried to calm yourself down and cursed yourself out in your head for making this such a big deal. He said that he doesn’t care. He won’t mention it, he’ll just get off to your videos and that’s that. Jeongin is your best friend who finds you hot and touches himself to your videos, that’s so normal. You’re so normal about this. 
By the time you finally hyped yourself up to answer his call the phone stopped ringing and you let out a huff of heavy air that you weren’t even aware you were holding. You’ll call him back…later.
Not even three minutes later there’s knocking at your front door and you rush to open it. You’re expecting a package today so this must be it. You swing the door open and your heart jumps out of your chest and runs down the hall. “Are you okay?” 
Jeongin waves in front of your face to grab your attention as you stare at him, unmoving. “I called, you didn’t answer.” You clear your throat but end up choking a bit from how dry it is. You opt for nodding your head while you desperately swallow your spit to try and save you from further embarrassment. 
“Right, yeah yeah come in, what’s up?” You hastily stumble to the side as you open your door wider. He stalks in like he always does, comfortable and confident. “You have my green jacket, Felix hyung wanted to borrow it tonight.”
”I gave that back, didn’t I?” You smooth down your skirt, suddenly feeling super self conscious. He’s seen you in this exact outfit more times than you can count but it’s different this time, right? No, it’s not supposed to be different. We’re acting normal. We’re so normal about this.
”Noona?” His fingers wrap around your wrist and you jump out of your thoughts, literally. “Is everything alright? You keep spacing out.” 
Has his hand always been this damn big? That’s all that you can think to yourself as you stare down at where he’s holding you. “I’m fine, Jeongin,”
”You usually call me Innie.” He retorts with furrowed brows until it all clicks for him. “Is this about last night?” 
You pull away from him like he’s on fire and start power walking to your bedroom before he can say another word. “I’ll go look for that jacket.”
You slam your room door closed behind you and sink to the floor against it immediately after. This is crazy, you’re acting crazy and horny and - and - fuck, has his hand always been that big? 
Has he always called you noona that smoothly? Has he always been like… that?  Wait, no, pull it together. Find the jacket and send him away so you can spiral in peace. 
After about ten minutes of searching through the mess you made and battling your inner demons you find the jacket that Jeongin came for. When you leave your bedroom you expect to see him sitting on your couch but you find him in your kitchen instead. He’s washing your dishes while he hums some song that you’re sure that you could identify if you concentrated but you can’t think straight. Your brain isn’t working at all because your best friend is standing there, at your sink, washing your dishes… In only a white tank top and gray sweatpants. 
Your eyes find the discarded sports sweater he arrived in thrown sloppily over one of your counter stools before they quickly return to Jeongin’s toned back. This shirt should be illegal. He shouldn’t be allowed to look this good. 
You stand there, jacket in hand and thighs pressed together while you try to muster up the courage to say something, anything. Just as you’re about to speak he turns around with a cup full of water but it’s only full for a second before he jumps with a scream and pours it all over himself.
”Ya, noona!” He huffs, bracing himself against the counter. “What the hell? You scared the life outta me.” He drops the now empty cup into the sink and braces himself with both hands against the marble. 
“Why are you just standing there?” You don’t even hear his question. You can’t hear anything except for the fast beating of your heart and incoherent screaming from your last brain cell as you take in the sight before you. 
The front of his shirt is soaked and you can see right through the fabric sticking to each and every dip and contour of his unbelievable body. Has he always been… so hot? “Noona, seriously, what is going on with you? Do we need to talk about something?” 
He steps towards you and you take a clumsy step back. “I uh, found the jacket.” You sit the jacket on the stool where his sweater is then look back at him. You look him in the eyes this time to avoid possibly fainting but you quickly discover that his gaze is just as intoxicating. 
“Forget the jacket, I’m trying to figure out if -“ He takes another step towards you and you take two back. 
“Okay, so I’ll see you later, right? Awesome, later Innie.” You rush back to your bedroom just as he takes another step to try to stop you. You slam the door shut and repeat the same routine as earlier. When did he get so hot?
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What the fuck? Did he just ask you if you like it?…Why is the answer yes? Why does that make every thought that you’ve been thinking for the past 12 hours way worse? You gotta pull it together, you can’t let a simple question cause you to spiral. He probably didn’t even mean it like that…right?
You spend the next three hours trying to forget that text. You take a shower and cook yourself a dinner that you barely even touch because it’s not what you want. It’s not him, do you want him? 
You drag yourself to your bedroom after you stuff your leftovers in the fridge and plop down on your bed. You scream into your mattress once or twice before you decide that you can’t take it anymore, you need to do something. Anything. 
Before you can even really think about it you’re in your closet that should honestly count as a second bedroom but you're fine with it being your mini studio. This is where you’ve filmed every video, where you capture every picture and record every ramble. This is where you are when you make the content that Jeongin loves. Maybe he’ll love this too.
You make yourself a bit comfortable in front of the large mirror on the wall and turn on your voice recorder. “Hey there…Do you have a second? I just wanna get something outta my head.” 
You settle into the fluffiness of your bean bag chair and spread your legs in front of the mirror. Your pajama shorts ride up a bit and the thin gusset exposes just enough of your cunt for you to take in. “I’ve been thinking about you all day, yeah you. I can’t get you off of my mind and it’s driving me crazy.” 
You sigh into your phone, glancing down at the recorder to make sure that it’s still running. Your free hand runs over the scarf tying your hair back and trails down the side of your neck. Your fingers brush over your sweet spots slowly and carefully kinda how you think he would do it.
”I want you.” It’s more of a whisper than you intended but you keep going. “I want you so badly that it’s driving me mad. I bet you know that though, don’t you?”
You nearly say Jeongin’s name at the end of that sentence and you nearly moan it into the air when your fingers brush over your nipples. “Tell me that you thought about me too.” 
Your hands start moving faster, grazing your covered and exposed skin with a hungry haste that you’re sure that Jeongin would recreate. He’d explore you with a lust driven by curiosity and desire. He’d rip you apart and take his sweet time putting you back together. He’d be rough and gentle, slow and fast, shallow and deep. He’d be everything.
You didn’t even realize that you were still talking into the recorder when your eyes snap open. You have no clue what you’ve said and you have no clue when you started rubbing at your clit but you don’t care. Moans are tumbling from your chapped lips as drool threatens to spill over the corners.
There’s nothing but pure carnal desire lingering around you and it’s all for your best friend. All for a man that you’ve never looked twice at until today, or have you? You always knew that Jeongin was attractive. You always felt a tingle when he’d hold you or play around with you but you’ve learned to push it down. It was manageable until last night. That’s when the dam broke.
”In- I - I need you.” You almost said it, almost let it slip. “Touch me please, please.”
Your fingers are slipping inside before you can even process it. You’re stroking up against your g-spot at a pace that should be painful but you feel nothing but bliss because you’re thinking of nothing but him. Him him him. 
The slick sounds of your cunt are loud enough to be caught on the recorder but you wouldn’t be surprised if they’re completely overshadowed by your moans. “Make me cum, please please please, m’ gonna cum.” 
Your vision is going white before you can even take a deep breath, it gets caught in your throat as you cry out. You’re panting, mumbling curses left and right and then right as you’re ending the recording it finally slips. “Innie”
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After sitting and staring at your reflection for maybe thirty minutes you finally pulled yourself up off of your bean bag chair and freshened up. You plopped down onto your bed face first and screamed, this seems to be becoming a routine. 
Once you get a grip you sit up against your pillows and stare at the new audio. How could you make this while thinking about Jeongin? Are you a terrible friend? Can you blame him for being hot? Can you say that it’s all his fault and just live life hating him for ever finding your account? No, I mean, yeah you could but that would be stupid.
You load the audio into your Only Fans account and put together the new post. You usually wouldn’t think twice about uploading a ramble, you’d usually listen to it in your headphones to check the quality and then throw it online for your subscribers to enjoy but this one feels different. This one feels wrong to post. After a bit of debating you take a deep breath and go for it. It can’t be that bad right?
Nevermind
It’s been about an hour since you posted the audio and it’s gotten back to back likes and comments. You’ve even gotten some chat requests with tips that you plan to reply to later but the one that just came in caught your attention. 
You don’t know what it is about it, maybe it’s the username or the energy behind their message but you’re almost a thousand percent positive that it’s Jeongin on the other side of this chat. 
You sound so pretty in your new audio. You’re really fueling my imagination tonight. I.2.n.8 Sent a tip 
You stare at the message for so long that you forget to blink. This is so obviously him. The user name is a dead giveaway. Jeongin is messaging you about your new ramble… you shouldn’t reply.
Fuck.
You replied. You replied and you flirted so fucking hard that you’re sure that he’s blushing in his bed just like you are right now. You’ve talked to plenty of guys like this. You flirt and make them feel special and then boom more tips but you don’t even care about the money right now, not when you’re having so much fun texting - sexting - the only man that’s been on your mind. Your best friend. 
When you see Jeongin the next day at a small get together you expect it to be awkward. You expected for him to give you knowing looks from across the crowded restaurant table but he didn’t. He acted completely normal like he hasn’t been sexting his best friend for the past eight hours. 
You tried your best to mimic his demeanor. You spoke to him as normally as you possibly could and as the night went on it got easier to ignore the elephant in the room. You stole some food off of his plate and even sang karaoke with him at the bar that you went to afterwards. You almost forgot about the messages, until you got home. 
Care to help me with a situation, sweetie? I’ll make it worth it, I promise. I.2.N.8 Sent a tip
Holy Fuck, that’s a big tip… like, money… that kind of tip. You sat on the edge of your bed with a messy cocktail of cheap liquor running through your veins and giving you confidence to do things that will surely have you screaming into your mattress later, and not in the way that you really want. 
You strip down and head to your closet, clicking a few pictures in poses that you’ve never tried before and some that are your tried and true classics. You hold your breath as you organize the album and attach a price to it. If he really wants to see it he can pay, you’ll be needing the money to fund your therapy sessions after this anyway cause this teasing is driving you insane.
Right when you send the set to the ‘mystery’ guy a text from Jeongin drops down into view and you’re instantly covered in goosebumps.
Ayen 🥐❣️: I had fun with you today, missed you. Ayen 🥐❣️: I work late tomorrow but I’m free the day after, wanna come over?
This is suspicious… right? You should decline. Yeah definitely decline, you don’t wanna risk anything happening that could ruin your friendship. 
You’re screaming into your mattress again.
 You accepted the invitation as you were thinking about declining it. 
You never stood a chance. 
You don’t sleep, instead you plan a cute but chill outfit to wear when you go over to his place. It’s not a date but you still wanna be cute, this isn’t weird. This is normal. 
What’s not normal is the way that you’ve been glued to your phone since this chat with Jeongin popped up. You’re not neglecting your other messages but you do spend extra time on his chat. You give him exclusive content that barely costs a thing and you’re fucking enjoying it. You’re addicted. So much so that when you get to Jeongin’s house the next day for your hang out it’s all that you can think about.
You’ve been here for about an hour and a half. You thought that it was just gonna be you and Jeongin. You thought that it was gonna be a nice best friend date. It’s not. 
“You seriously never saw that video before?” Jisung asks Felix with a mouth half full of whatever he ordered a bit ago. You’re sitting next to Jeongin on the couch with his roommate Seungmin next to him and his other roommate Felix on the floor with Jisung. ”Never.”
They fall into some conversation that everyone seems to be paying attention to but you. You’re too busy staring at your blacked out phone screen as you try to cope with the fact that you’re sitting next to the man that you’re secretly sexting. 
He hasn’t made anything weird just like he promised, everything is fine. You just need to calm - what the fuck?
Your phone chimes and your screen lights up to show a browser notification. An OnlyFans notification. You look over to the man next to you to catch him stuffing his phone in his pocket while he laughs at something that Felix said. Did he seriously just text you?
He did. You open your browser and the message is right there. Staring at you while you stare at him.
Bet you’re lookin’ so pretty today, sweetie.  I.2.n.8 Sent a tip Mind showing me what you’re wearing today? 
You gulp down the spit pooling in your mouth and choke a bit but you hide the cough well, you think. Why would he text you now? Why here? Maybe this is a good chance to see if it’s really him. Yeah, this is your chance. 
You type the cutest reply you can think of while your heart does the cha cha slide in your chest and hit send. You hold your breath as you wait for the ding but you’re choking once again when you actually hear it. 
Jeongin reaches into his pocket and smiles down at his phone. He doesn’t unlock it. He doesn’t check the message. But you know what he does? He fucking smiles at you. 
“You okay, noona? You’re spacing out again.” Seungmin is replying before you can even open your mouth. 
“Maybe if you actually spoke to her instead of texting that OnlyFans girl she wouldn’t have to daydream.” The other two instigate Seungmin’s teasing and Jeongin only rolls his eyes with a smile. 
“You’d be obsessed with her too if you’ve seen what I’ve seen” He settles back into the cushions a bit, extending his arm to the back of the couch behind you. He feels so much closer to you like this, or maybe it’s just because he’s talking about you to all of your friends. “She’s worth obsessing over.”
“Share her account then.” You jump a bit at the suggestion, it was quick but it was enough to gain Felix and Jisung’s attention. Jeongin is the opposite of you. He isn’t phased by the suggestion one bit, he just smiles down at his lap and shakes his head. “Nope, she’s a treasure that I plan to keep to myself.”
Seungmin scoffs and the other two start with the teasing again but Felix’s gaze keeps floating back to you. You try your best to relax, no one knows that you’re the OnlyFans girl so they aren’t actually talking about you. But this on top of Jeongin texting you while sitting right next to you is starting to be too much.
“Yeah yeah, tease all you want, I’m getting a drink.” Jeongin asks if anyone else wants anything from the kitchen and collects requests from almost everyone except for you. You just sit there quietly staring at your lap, quietly dying inside until the burning in your chest gets your feet moving. 
“I’ll be back.” You mumble but only Felix replies, he’s the only one that heard you and his eyes follow you as you take the same path that Jeongin did a second ago.
Your friend is looking into the open fridge when you get to the kitchen. He’s grabbing a bottle of water when he notices you come around the corner.
“Hey, did you want -“ 
“Not here.” You whisper through clenched teeth, it’s quick and quiet enough for you to get the point across and then escape. “Do not message me here, are you insane?” Jeongin closes the fridge, water bottle in hand and a grin on his lips.
”What?” You look back to make sure that you’re still alone before stepping closer to him. ”Do not text me here.”
”Why would I be texting you when you’ve been right next to me?” He sips from the bottle in his hands before sitting it down. “I think that you’re confused about -“
”You’re I.2.n.8, I know you are. You’re the one who’s been tipping me and texting me on OF for days.” Jeongin looks down at the tile in an attempt to hide the smug grin on his face. “You promised not to make it weird.”
”I kept my promise.” He shrugs, looking back up at you with a different gaze, a darker one. “I haven’t made anything weird. I haven’t brought it up. It’s you who thinks that I’m texting you.”
He steps closer, leaving little room between you two. You can feel your face getting hot, the temperature is rising with each second that your eyes are on his. Your thighs press together and you take it as a desperate plea from your body but you don’t know what for. “ Do you want it to be me texting you?” 
The air feels too thick with him so close, you can’t breathe. It’s too much. You turn away, desperate to retreat back to your safe space on the couch but he grabs your wrist before you can escape. 
His other hand finds your waist and guides your back against the marble counter next to the fridge. “Don’t run away from me again, noona.” There’s barely an inch between you two and the air feels dry at this point. Your tongue feels too heavy to control in your mouth so you dip it out to skate across your bottom lip. Jeongin watches the movement carefully, too carefully.
”Tell me, do you want it to be me, hm?” He shifts, caging you between his arms as he leans against the counter. You catch the flex of his muscles from the corner of your eye and it makes you feel dizzy, what is going on? “Do you want it to be me who tells you how badly I wanna ruin such a pretty thing like you?” 
You bite back a groan and sink into the surface behind you. He steps forward, now impossibly close as he moves to whisper in your ear. “Is that what you want, sweetie?”
Oh fuck, it is him. It’s really him.
”Jeongin, we can’t” You’re whispering to him so he whispers back. “Can’t what? What are you thinking about? I’ve only asked you a question.”
”You can’t be this close to me.” Your words feel forced and your limbs feel heavy as you try to find a way to settle against him. “This isn’t right.”
”Yeah? So you touching yourself in your closet and moaning my name is fine? But this isn’t right?” Your eyes widen the second those words leave his mouth, how did he know that you film in your closet? He’s been there a couple of times of course, he’s sat in your bean bag chair and he’s helped you pick out outfits but he never knew that you do Only Fans. So if he knows that you’ve been filming in your closet that means he recognized it from one of your videos… which means that he also had to have recognized you. 
“You knew that it was me the whole time didn’t you?” Your eyes flick from his to his lips and back up. “You knew that it was my account.” His lips spread into a wide mouth smile as he mimics your previous pattern with his dark pupils. 
“Maybe I did.” He moves his hand to your arm, running his fingers over the exposed flesh of your wrist. Every touch feels like fire as the pads of his fingers glide up your forearm. “Maybe I hoped it was you.”
His fingers press into your flesh every so slightly, it’s enough to make you shift into a firmer press of your thighs. “Maybe I only subscribed to the account because it looked like you.”
His fingers take their time going over the curve of your shoulder. They tease the strap of your top for a second, before dancing up the curve of your neck. “Guess I got lucky, huh?”
That was what tipped the bucket. That is what had you crashing your lips to his and wiping that smug smile off of his face in an instant. He moans into your mouth before you can moan into his, his hand cups your neck, pulling you closer as his other hand grabs at your waist.
It’s heated and sloppy. He feels just as desperate as you do with every clumsy swipe of his tongue over yours. You’re panting into his mouth, only pulling away for half a second to breathe before you’re tasting him again. 
Your hands grab at his flexing arms, scratching and kneading the flesh before you move to make fists into the fabric of his shirt. He feels unreal, he’s more than what you dreamed of. He feels so strong and soft and he tastes like lust itself.
You press your body further into his, taking in the matching thump of his heart to yours as your lips move in an impossible rhythm. It’s clear that you both feel the same hunger, the same longing, the same need for each other. Maybe this was driving him insane too.
“Jump.” His command is muffled and wet against your lips but you understand him and swiftly obey. His hands move to the back of your thighs to help you up onto the counter and he briskly fills in the space between your parted legs with his slim waist. 
You wrap your arms around his neck as his hands wander up your clothed thighs, his fingers dig into the plush flesh with a deep groan. “Fuck, do you know how long I’ve thought of this?” He trails kisses over your cheek and over the shell of your ear. 
“I watched every video.” He moves down the curve of your neck, nipping and kissing the flesh to milk moans from your parted lips. “I listened to every audio. I saved every picture.” 
He sucks bruises into your clavicle, licking over the rising cherry marks and planting sloppy kisses. “But none of that is as good as this.” You’re panting and moaning into his ear. Words don’t make sense. They jumble and disappear behind your eyes with each rough grab and desperate lick. 
“Do you feel as good as you look, sweetie?” Your eyes flutter open when he pulls back from your neck. Both of your lids are low and your eyes have a lustful haze fogging them. “Can I please feel you?”  His hands explore you while you fight with your tongue to form words. They skim over your curves and make you feel like you’re electric. You’ve wanted this, you wanted this so badly. 
“We shouldn’t.” Your mouth forms the wrong words and you curse yourself for it. Jeongin just nods at you, hands still exploring your body until they reach your breast. He cups them, squeezing a bit and running his thumbs over your hardened nipples. 
“We shouldn’t” He repeats after you, massaging your breast more intensely and pressing the prominent bulge in his sweatpants firm against your cunt. Your breath hitches and your eyes flutter shut.
“We can’t” It comes out as a moan as he leans in and sucks on the flesh on the other side of your neck. Your fingers rake through his hair and he groans at the slight tug you give. “You’re my best friend.” 
“Don’t worry about making things weird.” He whispers between kisses to the shell of your ear. “Just worry about what you want.”
He pulls away again, fox eyes staring into yours. “You’re not gonna lose me, don’t worry.” Your eyes search his for a second and you can feel your resolve breaking. 
 “Touch me.” Your voice is barely above a whisper but he heard you, he’s just going to act like he didn’t. “Say it again.”
“Touch me, Innie, please. I wan’ it.” His hand is slipping down the front of your shorts in an instant. Everything is back to being clumsy and rough, fast and desperate. He moans when the pads of his fingers run over your slick folds.
“No panties, sweetie?” His eyes roll back and he bites at his bottom lip to try to control himself. 
“I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” He hooks his fingers into the side of your shorts and starts trying to work them down your thighs. “I need you, it’s driving me mad.” 
You lift up for him and when you come back down his lips are on yours. “You’re driving me insane.” He whispers against your spit slick lips, his forehead is pressed to yours as his fingers roam your slippery cunt. He covers you in your own slick, dipping in and out of your folds and teasing your waiting hole.
“Please, no teasing, I can’t take it.” He rubs your clit, once then twice before slipping back down. “Innie, please I’ll be so good. I’ll be so good for you please just fuck me.” 
He pushes a finger into you slowly, taking in the soaked warmth that he caused. This is all because of him and his cock twitches at the thought. You moan and arch your back, your nails dig into his forearms as he moves. His rhythm is steady and unfamiliar, it makes your body sing in a way that no one else ever has.
“You’re so tight, noona. So wet.” His eyes are glued to where his finger is disappearing inside of you. He adds another, pushing in slowly before taking his previous pace. “Oh fuck, this is how it looks when you fuck yourself. When you take those toys and stuff your cunt. Shit, it’s so hot.”
You’re grinding into his hand, meeting his fingers when they fill you to the knuckle. Your tongue is poked between your teeth in an attempt to keep yourself quiet but you’ve already failed. Each thrust is met with a whining whimper that Jeongin eats up like candy. 
“Innie, Innie, c-can you curl them please? Curl your fingers inside of - holy shit, yes yes yes.” He watches your eyes roll back as your orgasm builds and builds. 
“Did you think of me?” His voice is thick with lust as he watches you. “When you made your last audio, did you think about me?” You’re shaking your head before you can even filter the question. You admit it shamelessly as you chase your high that’s dangling in front of you.
“Yes, I did I did, I thought of you.” Your orgasm rushes up your legs and blurs your vision with one more stroke of his fingers but he’s pulling out before you can ride it out. You whimper at the loss but a gasp quickly follows when you’re filled with something thicker.
“I know.” He moans, bracing himself against the cabinet behind your head as he pushes into you. “You said my name in the audio, you know that?”
He bottoms out with a groan, your cunt is spasming around him as your previous orgasm rips through you but you can already feel another one building as the first one subsides. His other hand settles at the nape of your neck and he pulls you in for a searing kiss. 
You can’t breathe being this full of him. With his tongue exploring your mouth and his cock stretching your walls. It feels like you're suffocating in the most delicious way. “Shit, your pussy takes - takes me so well.”  You can feel his control dissolving. It’s evident in the way he pants against you and how his dark eyes droop lower and lower with each unsteady pull of his hips.
“I wanna take my time with you.” He whispers against your lips. “I wanna but I can’t.” He’s whining, moaning and cursing into the air as he drags against your walls. You can’t even really hear him if you’re being honest. Between the sloppy sounds of your cunt being fucked, the rapid beating of your heart and ringing in your ears you’re completely clocked out. Utterly brain-dead. 
“Please, let me hear you. Please, I wanna know what you sound like when I fuck you.” Your voice shakes with a moan of his name as he switches his pace. His thrusts become faster and deeper, his breathing ragged, he’s doing his best to fuck you how he’s seen you fuck yourself. He’s doing his best to ruin you the same way that he imagined every time that he’d jerk his cock to your content.
 “More more more, please. Deeper, I wan’ it deeper.” His hands move to your thighs at your request and he pulls your ass to the very edge of the counter. He supports your legs on either side of him while you brace yourself against the side of the fridge. 
He pushes into you until his pelvis is flush against you. Every single thick inch of him is buried inside of you. Your pussy swells around him, squeezing him so perfectly that he lets his head fall forward with a moan. The hand that isn’t against the fridge balls the fabric of his shirt against his chest and slowly pulls it up until his torso is exposed to you. 
“Oh, fuck.” Your eyes snap shut once you feel him twitch inside of you. You let your hand run over his toned core, taking in every firm dip from under his fallen shirt. “Move, please. Please, Innie.”
“‘M gonna cum if I move.” His voice is strained as he rummages for any last bit of self control but he’s lost it all. He pulls back slowly, swirling his hips to hit every spot that you could imagine and more. Your pussy clenches around him as he sinks back in and he nearly busts at the feeling.
“I can feel you in my fucking stomach.” That’s all that you had to say to break him. That’s all that you had to say to have him pushing deeper into you then pulling back with every intention of ruining you. The only sound that you can hear is skin against skin decorated by your harmonizing moans.
 His eyes are shut tight as he moves, he’s biting his tongue, trying his best not to whine and moan like he does into his hand while watching your videos. You on the other hand are loud. You’re so fucked out and dazed that you can barely remember where you are. You couldn’t answer the first question asked to you even if you tried, the only thing that you can think of right now is Jeongin. Everything is him. Him, him, him.
“Innie ‘m gonna cum, you’re gonna make me. Gonna make me cum, fuck fuck fuck.” You scratch into his abs, leaving pretty red marks for him to remember this moment. Your head falls back as you float in the feeling of being dumb with pleasure. His hips slam into you at their own accord and you just take it. You let him fuck you just how he wants, just how you need it. 
“Cum, please cum. You feel too good. sweetie. Gonna make me cum.” His thrusts become more frantic, his movements more erratic. Your body is trembling and your mind is blank. A familiar fuzziness takes over your vision as you lose control, you welcome it. You savor it and quietly beg for more. “Cum on my cock, noona.”
He’s begging and you’re complying. Your vision blurs with a hazy white, your breathing hitches, and your body trembles with pleasure. You’re more than positive that your damn near screaming his name as he fucks you through what might be the most intense orgasm of your life. “That’s it, Thank you for your cum. Thank you.” 
His fingers dig into your thighs as his thrusts become unpredictable. He can’t take much more and he knows it. As much as he wanted to savor you he just can’t help but to get lost in the way you feel. He can swear that you were made for him. “Oh fuck, oh, fuck, I’m cumming.” With one final thrust he’s pulling out and milking his cock of thick ropes of white that settle on your inner thigh and drips down to frame your glistening cunt. 
He slumps forward, forehead resting against yours as you both pant hot and heavy satisfaction into the air. The silence is loud, almost louder than your pounding heart and racing thoughts as your eyes flutter open to meet Jeongin’s.
You stare at each other, it’s soft and almost comfortable but there’s still this looming uneasiness in your chest that makes you feel like you made a big mistake. It makes you feel like you just lost something. “Here.” He speaks first, pulling back from you to reach for the water bottle that he had earlier.
“Drink this, please.” He’s gentle as he opens the bottle and raises it to your lips. He tips your head back with a bent finger and turns the bottle up for you. “Are you okay?”
You swallow hard, panting for another second before you try nodding your head but you don’t know what to tell him. “Hey.” He grabs your attention, pulling you out of your thoughts for a second and calming you with his touch. “Everything’s alright. We didn’t ruin anything.” 
He smiles softly, pressing a soft kiss to your lips that you can’t help but melt into. Maybe he’s right. Maybe you’re just nervous to confront all of this, maybe you’re just scared to admit to yourself that you want him. You want him so badly and so much more.
He pulls back and you sigh, nodding your head with a whisper. “I’m okay.” 
“Let me clean you up and we can talk?” He starts fixing himself up and you can’t help but to snort a laugh. “I feel like we did this in reverse order.”
He smiles as he moves over to the sink. “Yeah, maybe.” The two of you laugh softly as he wets a couple of paper towels. It’s quiet again. It's comfortable. Everything will be alright.
“Your bedroom is literally right down the hall, you couldn’t fuck there?” Seungmin yells to the two of you and you freeze, Holy fuckaroni, you forgot that they were here. 
“You never even brought me my drink!” Jisung follows and Jeongin rolls his eyes and comes back over to you with the paper towels. Felix yells right after Jisung and you can’t help but to break out into laughter with Jeongin as he cleans you up. 
“Are you two not confused that they just fucked? Is it just me?.” 
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Thank You For Reading! Please Reblog or Comment to let me know how you liked it! It makes my day! 💕
ALSO, please follow my back-up acct. @minniee-verse 💕
Perm. Tag List:
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hurtspideyparker · 3 months ago
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Part 3 of if Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lived together
Part 1 Part 2
-
Mission debrief:
Thor: Don't feel bad Banner, I mean is there anyone at this table who hasn't killed somebody?
Peter: *slowly raises hand*
Natasha: Don't worry you're still young
Peter: 😟
-
Steve: Has anyone seen my shield?
Clint: *points outside*
*Peter, Thor, and Bucky playing frisbee with it*
Steve: I guess I'm not saving those orphans today :/
-
Clint: Tony I said seedless watermelon, are you trying to kill me?
Tony: You're a big boy, you aren't gonna choke
Clint: No but it might... grow
Tony: Oh please don't tell me you still think watermelon seeds grow inside your stomach if you swallow them
Clint:
Pietro: Bro got a licence to kill but still has a Jack and the Beanstock level of education
-
2:34 am
Tony: *leaving Steve's bedroom*
Sam: *leaving Bucky's bedroom*
Tony:
Sam:
Tony: Let's never speak of this?
Sam: Yep.
-
Steve: Tony, you're the smartest person I know. You understand anything you set out to study, your passion is remarkable, innovation beyond anyone on the planet, and an incredible memory
Tony: Thank you thank you
Steve: So why do you STILL NOT CLOSE THE KITCHEN CABINETS
Tony: Uh
Steve: SOME OF US ARE TALL TONY. SOME OF US HAVE BRUISES ON THEIR FOREHEADS BECAUSE OF THIS NEGLIGENCE
-
Tony: Goodnight kid *tucks Peter into bed and kisses his forehead*
*Clint, Vision, Thor, and Dum-E waiting outside the room*
Tony: Oh come on. All of you?
*nodding*
Tony: Vision you don't even sleep. Dum-E I am not kissing you again you gave me chemical burns last time
Dum-E: *lowers head and whirs sadly*
-
Bucky: Don't sit so close to me
Sam: Why, cause I'm black 🤨
Bucky: No because you smell like ass sweat
Sam:
Sam: Why, cause I'm bl-
-
During training:
Natasha: *flips Steve and slams him onto his back*
Peter: Woah! I wanna know how to do that
Natasha: *flips Peter and slams him onto his back*
Natasha: Seems like you already know how
-
Tony: Okay Merida, you and me, darts for a hundred bucks. My suit vs. your freak self
Clint: I'll take that bet
*7 minutes later*
Tony: I have advanced AI targetting technology. SUPER. SUIT. How did I lose?!
Clint: It can do a lot of things Tony but at the end of the day it can't super suck this di-
-
Bucky: Sam's in medical so I'll do the mission debrief with you
Natasha: That was fast, I thought you'd still be coddling your boyfriend the rest of the day
Bucky: What. How do you know about us.
Natasha: I don't, it was a joke...
Bucky:
Natasha:
Bucky: Damn you really are good at interrogation
-
Bruce: I've taken up puzzles as a hobby. It's actually really relaxing
*Box is missing the last piece*
Bruce: *sighs, erases the 61 under the 'Days Without Hulk Incident' sign*
-
Natasha: Kings
Bucky: Go fish. Sevens?
Natasha: Nada. Fives?
Bucky: Shit. Here
Sam: I thought y'all were playing poker, are you for real playing Go Fish?
Natasha: Our pockets got cleaned out so we quit. The poker game is over by Steve
Peter: HAHA SUCK IT OLD MAN, AMERICA JUST WENT BANKRUPT *pulls giant pile of animal crackers to himself*
-
Steve: Do you want to play catch?
Wanda: What?
Steve: Um. Do you want to watch Hannah Montana?
Wanda: I don't even know what you're talking about
Steve: Maybe I could show you how to brush your teeth?
Wanda: Steve you're really scaring me
Steve: The article said to do it together! *shows phone*
Wanda: Are you getting parenting advice from wikihow? Did you even read it or were you just skimming the pictures
Steve: ...Well why'd they put toothbrushing in the photo if it wasn't a good bonding activity?
-
Sam: Why are your titties so bouncy man. Is it to deflect bullets?
Steve: What did you just say about my chest...
Sam: Hey I call em as I see em, and they're staring right at me.
-
Peter: Yo Mr. Stark wanna see a backflip?
Peter: Oh Cap come see my front handsprings
Peter: Natasha watch this aerial cartwheel!
Tony: Why did you tell him you were in the circus. Now that the idea's in his head all he does is jump around and cause noise complaints from downstairs
Clint: C'mon it's cute! He's talented
Bucky: I'm gonna tell him it doesn't count because he has superpowers and that he's a cheat
Tony: But that'll ruin his confidence
Bucky: God I hope so
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bigwishes · 6 months ago
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Big's Perma Bulk!
(Community Requested Story, about me perma bulking) What's good bros! It's your favourite wish granting genie here to go on my own transformation journey. Normally I send this kind of thing off to another writer but a lot of you wanted me to be transformation using my own Genie gifts so I've waved my hands and started it off.
I made sure to completely forget about what you guys wanted for me to make it even more surprising but considering all you lot drool at a bicep vein I think I'm in good hands.
After waking up I definitely didn't have anything to worry about. I knew all of you just wanted me to become some big sweaty himbo. Just take a look.
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Big arms, thick thighs and a solid chest. I won't lie if I were to make a choice I would of ended up so much bigger than this but hey, it's what you all wanted to I guess I gotta get used to being a himbo stud.
Woah...I guess day two was a little different. I'm a lot bigger ladz so cheers for that but damn, some of this definition is starting to fade. It looks like I'm sliding more to the tank side of the spectrum that the stud side. I'm pretty sure if I move wrong this tank is gonna split in too and my fucking stomach won't stop rumbling, every time I walk in my kitchen I down half a box of cereal, fuck, I should probably take a couple sandwiches back to my desk before I load up some games with the boys.
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'BUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRPP'
aw fuck, sorry about that ladz but damn. I woke up this morning and my stomach feels so tight, it feels like my abs are about to split in half. My shorts are so tight around my ass.
Damn what the fuck did you guys wish to happen to me? A slab of muscle instead of abs is one thing but fuck my gut is so bloated, ah man
'UURRRRRRRRRRPP!!!'
whoops, sorry dudes, fuck this is so tight but I still feel hungry, maybe a protein shake and a bowl of rice wont gut, surely this can't get any tighter.
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ahhh fuck what time is it? 3am?? why the fuck am I so hungry. I didn't even know it was possible to feel hungry and bloated at the same-
BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP
ah man, what do I have in the fridge, mmmmm half a pizza, well I'm sure a couple of slices won't hurt. I hit the gym pretty hard today, its probably my body wanting to fuel up. mmm yeah just 3 maybe 6 slices and I'll be good for the night, probably best to turn the light switch on so I don't make a mess...
w--what the fuck happened to me! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I'M SO FUCKING BULKY, OH FUCK
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRPPP
DAMN....fuck well....at least it doesn't jiggle, probably just bloated from how much I've been eating recently, who knew having such big muscles would make me so hungry all the time...
hmmm, I probably shouldn't leave just 3 slices of pizza in the fridge on their, own, that's not even a snack, 9 slices is alright at this time of night yeah?
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On the bright side, my muscles have continued to blow up to freakish size, my bicep is bigger than most dude's heads. On the other hand....I can't shift this tank around my mid section. I've been trying to eat less to get my abs back but fuck I can't help it, my stomach growls and I gotta eat enough to feed at least 3 people or else it feels like my stomach is gonna eat itself. It's okay, Ill just cut when summer rolls around, use this time to grow as big as I can, bet my abs will look fucking insane in a few months/
Guess the bright side is I can order that nice chocolate cake with my pizza tonight...I'm pretty sure it's cheat night tonight, or was it last night? hmm, no yeah it is definitely tonight?
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UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP
ah fuck, wh- UUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP
what happened - uurp - to me?
a few *hic* days ago I was a lean mean lifting machine
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRPPPPPPPPP
and now...fuck *hic* uuurp- I'm a big, bulky brute
fuu-UUUUUUUURPPPP-ck, my gut is so tight, moving feels like a chore....I'm so fuckin stuffed and hungry at the same time. Who knew my fans would want me to blow up into a 300lsb bulky beast...
damn...I need a shower but, I could really go for a double cheese burger and a snickers protein thick shake, I'm sure it can wait -uuurrpp- maybe I should grab a couple protein bars for the road..
BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP!!!!
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I can still feel the spell under my skin, I wonder how much bigger these guys will make me, or what else they'll do...
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pomefioredove · 5 months ago
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a private meeting
summary: yuu makes a list of the top five cutest third years. the following conversation type of post: short fic characters: cater, trey, leona, rook, vil, idia mentioned, lilia, malleus additional info: romantic?? platonic?? idk, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, this is more for character interactions. and fun
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"I'm sure you're all well aware of why we're here,"
The eight gentleman standing around the dark, candlelit room look between each other.
Leona yawns.
"How long is this gonna take, exactly? I was dragged outta bed for this,"
Vil glares. "Hush. I wanted to deal with this matter in the quietest manner possible, without disturbing the prefect. Sevens know what happens when your egos go unchecked,"
"Look who's talking,"
Another glare, but Vil chooses not to waste any more time.
"Two nights ago, the prefect hosted a slumber party for Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Jack Howl, and our own Epel Felmier,"
"I remember that," Lilia says, rubbing his chin. "Sebek was invited, but refused in case someone attacked Malleus whilst he was away."
Malleus shakes his head.
"During this event, the prefect created a list of the top five "cutest third years", as we all know. And, to avoid any childish squabbling, I've gathered you all here to open it as an ensemble. Rook?"
A slim, folded sheet of notebook paper appears from the dark of Rook Hunt's pocket. He holds it up, as if presenting it to the heavens.
"Where did you even find that?" Trey asks, adjusting his glasses.
"Facile! It was buried under a stack of homework assignments in our dearest Trickster's bedroom," the blond says merrily.
"Logistically speaking, that's almost too easy. Are we sure it isn't a fake?" Ortho pipes up.
"Ortho?" Vil asks. "What are you doing here?"
The boy giggles in an electronic chime. "Idia is hiding under his covers and won't come out, so I'm here in his place!"
"...Alright,"
"I don't know what he's so nervous for," Vil goes on. "When I am already guaranteed to be in the first place slot."
Leona scoffs, kicking back with his feet on the table. Vil glares again.
"How rude,"
"He's not wrong. You are the most beautiful here..." a smile creeps up Lilia's face. "But, as I recall, you said cutest third years, not most beautiful. And if anyone is the cutest, it's me."
"Oh, spare me," Leona sighs. "Let's just get this over with. Open the damn thing."
"You're not the least bit curious, Leona?" the fae asks, batting his large eyes.
"Don't patronize me. And no, I'm not. I couldn't care less,"
Lilia smirks, but says nothing more on the matter.
He turns to his tablemate. "And what say you, Malleus?"
Every person in the room falls silent, and then turn to the prince sitting at the furthest corner of the table with his hands folded in front of him.
He hasn't shared a single thought all evening.
"...The contents of this list make no difference to me," he finally speaks. "My feelings towards the prefect will be unaffected."
Rook sets a hand over his heart. "Quelle beauté! I am moved! Not even the strongest of winds could make your friendship bow,"
Leona groans as if he's in agonizing pain.
"Open it!"
"Okay, hold on. Isn't this like, a major privacy violation?" Cater says. He doesn't sound eager to see the results, either.
"I would hate for someone to read my private thoughts to a room full of people."
"He may have a point. This was a list made between friends at a slumber party. Taking it out of that context could be disastrous," Trey agrees.
"There's a 96% chance this will end in conflict!" Ortho chimes in, merry as ever. Leona sighs.
"Can I just leave?"
"No," Vil snaps. "Rook, open it."
"Rook, don't,"
"Rook!"
The poor man observes the conflict slowly unraveling before him, and he sets the folded sheet of paper on the table.
"Now, now, do not squabble! Let this be a chance to celebrate our bonds with the lovely prefect!"
"I agree with Rook," Lilia smiles big. "We should all agree that no matter what is on that list, we'll leave it after tonight and move on."
Vil sighs. "Yes, yes. You're all right. We can't let what they wrote at a private slumber party affect our relationships with them,"
"No matter what, we leave them out of this. Agreed?"
Everyone in the room nods.
"Alright. Rook, read it,"
Rook reaches behind him, the anticipation building, and... is met with a cool wooden surface.
The note seems to have disappeared into thin air.
Before anyone can express their obvious confusion, an evil cackling pulls their attention to the doorway.
Vil gasps.
"Grim! Put that down!"
The small direbeast, now holding a crumpled piece of paper in his paw, smiles wickedly.
And then, to everyone's horror, he eats it whole.
Leona is the first to react, storming over and lifting Grim by the scruff of his neck. "Seriously?!"
"Fufufu. Looks like someone cared, after all," Lilia chuckles. Vil rolls his eyes.
"Hey! Not my fault you guys were so loud! You woke me up from my nap over a stupid list!" Grim says, crossing his arms.
A brief silence follows, and then a sigh. Leona drops him and he lands on his feet.
"Perhaps Grim is right," Ortho says. "Instead of worrying about the numerical grade the prefect assigns you, you should focus on the unique and special aspects of your individual relationships!"
"How eloquent!" Rook coos. "Oui, you are right! Sometimes it is best to let secrets remain secrets."
"Something about the way he says that tells me he already knows what it said," Leona grumbles.
"Ohoho. A fascinating mystery, non? Did I sneak a peek before tonight, or am I just as clueless as you?"
The prince rolls his eyes.
Vil sighs. "Ortho is right. Now I feel ridiculous for getting so worked up over what amounts to a joke at a slumber party,"
Everyone grows quiet, seemingly reflecting on themselves for the duration of the brief silence.
Lilia's giggles change the melancholic mood of the room.
"Perhaps Malleus had the right idea all along. It doesn't matter who the prefect thinks is more attractive; they're still a wonderful friend. How wise- I'm very proud,"
Malleus beams.
"Yeah yeah," Grim grumbles, turning to the door. "I didja a favor, anyway. None of you weirdos were number one."
He leaves, and he takes the peace and reflection with him.
Slowly, everyone turns to each other.
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rinsoap · 5 months ago
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best friend! suna who makes you new playlists all the time. the names are inside jokes with you, little things he whispers in your ear late at night. the description always says, "for y/n". sometimes it has a little message explaining why he made it alongside the dedication, but he never fails to remind you, it was made for you and only you.
"for y/n. songs that remind me that time at the park." "for y/n. just songs that reminded me of your face. "for y/n. songs for when you're sad. hope it cheers you up."
best friend! suna who always know when something is off with you. he can tell from just the shaky delivery of a sentence or the small tremble of your lip, he knows. he hates seeing you like this, he'll do anything to see your pretty smile. words aren't his thing, he'd rather listen to you for hours, even if you're just venting the whole time. anything to make you feel a little better.
"what was that?" "what was what?" "you know. you did a weird nervous laugh when you said that." "stop that's just how i laugh don't make fun of me" "no you laugh completely different don't lie. come on, tell me what's wrong. i'm here, i got you."
best friend! suna who's favourite thing is your movie nights. your legs draped over his thighs with his arm around your shoulder. you glance over at him, and he's already staring, glow of the tv flickering on his face as he studies your face back. his eyes keep dropping to your lips, so when you give him a smile and a slight quirk of your eyebrow, he cocks his head before turning back to the movie. the next morning, you wake up on his couch and in his arms.
"what are you staring at, huh?" "what? nothing. just... it's nothing. i, um, i like how you did your makeup today. looks nice." "oh, i did it differently today! thank you!!! how'd you even notice that? it's so dark!" "just got sharp vision, i don't know damn. now pay attention to the movie. don't even know what's going on." "you're the one who was staring at me???"
best friend! suna who playfully calls you princess whenever he does you a favour. despite his frequent complaints, he secretly loves treating you like a princess. he knows you deserve it. so when you ask him to pick you up from a party you don't want to be at, he grabs his keys as soon as soon he sees the text, like he always does, no matter how late it is. he'll tease you, telling you he's not coming as he's starting the car. he just likes toying with you. when he picks you up, you slide into the passenger's seat with a sigh, expressing how hungry you are and begging him to take you to the nearest drive thru. he protests, but he drives you to a burger king trying to suppress a smile.
"really now? what am i? a personal butler?" "i was thinking more like righthand man. like smee from peter pan." "i'm definitely the captain hook out of the two of us but okay whatever. are burger kings even open this late?" "well can't we see? pleeeeease rinnie i'm so hungry i'll eat a whole cow" "fine okay, whatever you want princess. just to save the hypothetical cow though."
best friend! suna who doesn't drive you home quite yet. he pulls into a spot by the beach, a cliff overlooking the water sparkling under the moonlight. a playlist of love songs he made you plays as background to your conversation as he looks out on the view while you aid the song in filling his silence. you're hardly eating the burger he bought for you, so caught up in speaking. he looks to you, leaning in to listen more intently and you instinctively match him and close the distance between you. he nods in agreement to a long rant you've been going on about, stumbling over your words when you realize how close he is.
"you're giving me that look." "what look?" "i don't know. the one from the other night. when we were watching howl's moving castle." "oh. right." "does my makeup looks good again?" "yeah, i mean... it always look good, you know. you always look good." "oh, well, thank you rin you're sweet" "only to you, princess."
best friend! suna who hooks his finger under your chin to lift your head to his, bringing you into a gentle kiss. his other hand finds yours resting on the centre compartment to carress your skin with his thumb. when you pull apart, both of you don't say anything. you smile at each other, forehead to forehead, and there is a silent agreement that words could never be enough.
ᵎᵎᵎ ִֶ ࣪ ⊹ ֶָ ، 𓂅 the song playing in the car: infrunami by steve lacy
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ienjoywritingfilth · 5 months ago
Text
a sinner i am
If its so wrong, why does it feel so good?
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trope: Boyfriend's Dad PP character: Joel Miller x f reader summary: Your boyfriend Shawn Miller and his dad Joel bring you along to Hawaii for Christmas vacation. Things don't go as planned.
warning: 10/10 on the sexual tension scale, slowishh burn, kissing, grinding, cheating on your bf (but it’s cool, cuz its with Joel and everything is fictional in this universe), alternative universe b/c daddy miller stays alive and hates golf and he has a son named Shawn, no Sarah. rating: E
words 6.8k
wanna see my other stuff?
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part i : takeoff
The best things in life are the people we love, the places we’ve been, and all the memories we’ve made along the way. - author unknown
"Loving him is a sin; of that I'm fully aware. But a sinner I am." - Bella Jewel
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Your boyfriend Shawn brings over two iced coffees as the two of you work on a crossword together at your local coffee shop. You have been filling in the squares quickly.
"Thanks babe," you say warmly as you take the coffee from him. He presses a kiss to your temple, taking a seat next to you. 
"Damn, you're fast this mornin'," he says when he sees all you've filled in. It's a tradition for the two of you; weekend crosswords over coffee. It's nice. It's domestic. 
It's a little boring. 
You're college sweethearts who met your sophomore year and have been inseparable since. And while the love is still very much there the butterflies have unfortunately been hibernating for a while. 
It's normal, you tell yourself when you sometimes zone out during sex. It's normal when you've been together with someone so long. 
"It's so nice to be doing this instead of college essays," you say. 
"Fuck yeah it is." 
This is your first summer of freedom without the threat of schoolwork looming in the near distance. Shawn is starting his master's in the fall and you've just accepted a position at the local museum. 
“Just think I’ll actually be able to enjoy Christmas this year,” you tease. “Unlike someone who’ll be working on essays.”
“Hey now,” Shawn says with mock offence. “I’ll be able to enjoy my Christmas just fine. Actually, my dad wants to celebrate Christmas somewhere warm this year. He's talkin' about some resort in Hawaii."
Shawn comes from money, the son of the infamous Joel Miller of The Miller Company, the premiere construction firm in Texas. This means expensive vacations, nice cars, all of that is normal for him. You meanwhile have had to work hard for everything you have.
Being left behind at Christmas seems strangely unkind for the normally thoughtful head of the Miller family. Shawn's dad has always treated you like one of the family so this news is unexpected.
"Have a great time," you say trying not to be jealous. "Bring me back some chocolate macadamia nuts."
You can admit that even though both Shawn and his father are humble, kind men, you're always a bit bitter that they live so nicely. Leaving you out of their holiday vacation seems especially unkind. 
"He's taking both of us babe," Shawn says with a grin. "You think he's gonna leave you behind on Christmas? After you’ve spent the last six with us?" 
Christmas in Hawaii? Is this a dream? Your pencil lays forgotten on the table as you gape open-jawed at your boyfriend. 
"Are you serious?"
"Babe," Shawn says meaningfully. "My dad likes you better than he likes me. Of course you're invited."
You've always gotten along with Joel. It's impossible not to. He's friendly, funny and charming. There's a reason he's good at his job. And you're a good girl, a kind girlfriend to his son with clear career ambitions. 
A smile breaks out over your features and you pull Shawn into a tight hug. He chuckles, embracing you back, kissing your cheek. 
"Make sure you don’t overpack, okay?" He murmurs in your ear as you giggle. “I don’t feel like helping you haul six bags of shoes for a week-long trip.”
Thoughts of lounging by the pool with a drink in one hand and a magazine in the other while the Hawaiian sun beats down on you is all too enticing. You kiss him fiercely, imagining the time together.
"I can't wait." 
The two of you finish the crossword puzzle all the while talking about the drinks and food and the excursions you'll both take. 
"Maybe once I've got a handle on school we can think about findin' an apartment in the new year," Shawn broaches, his hand over yours.
Sex fades, but this? This domestic stuff you have with Shawn? That's special. That's love. 
“Yeah, I’d love that.”
He gives you a smile, that dimple poking out of his cheek that makes you swoon.
"Ready to go?" Shawn asks, extending his hand to you when your coffees are drained. 
"Yeah," you say with your hand taking his. "Let's go."
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When December twentieth announces itself with a thunderstorm you couldn’t care less because you’re at the airport. Your large rolling bag bag is stuffed with cute outfits, swimsuits and even some snorkelling gear. 
"Feels like you got a dead body in here," Shawn laughs as he struggles with the two bags, handing you yours before swinging an arm around your shoulders. 
"I wanted to be prepared."
"Let's go my little Girl Scout," he laughs with a gentle kiss to your temple. You both check in and then find your boarding gate. 
"I'm gonna grab breakfast, you want anything?" Shawn asks as he parks you and the suitcases by the gate full of noisy travellers. 
"Nah, I'm good." 
Shawn jogs off in the direction of a Starbucks you passed on your way in. 
Out the larger windows you can see planes taking off. You've never flown before; you thought that you'd be excited. But at the first view of those planes out the window you feel your stomach drop. 
They’re so big and bulky. How does it fly properly? It couldn’t. What if people shift around too much in their seats? Surely this can’t be a safe form of travel!
You pull out your phone, distracting yourself with a game. You try for several moments but your eyes keep being drawn to the huge planes outside. You grimace, wondering if you should have gotten your doctor to prescribe you something for anxiety. 
"Cheer up," a voice says. "You look like you're goin' to prison, not a five star resort." 
You glance over to see Shawn's dad, Joel, at the other side of you, an amused look on his handsome face. He's wearing jeans and a faded grey Longhorns t-shirt. You're momentarily thrown as normally you see him in dress pants and button downs for work. 
"I'm excited for the resort, just not the giant metal death box hurling through the air that is my only means of getting there." 
"Touche."
Shawn jokes about Joel liking you better then he likes him, but the truth is you and Joel are very similar. Your senses of humour, your ability to read people, your tendency to see the worst in people before they prove themselves worthy.
Shawn is more like his mom, sweet and naive at times, always seeing the good in people. It's ironic considering which parent stuck around to raise him and which one escaped the country six years after Shawn was born. 
Joel takes the empty seat next to you, his kneecap kissing yours as he pulls out his phone. 
"Never flown before," you explain. 
"Ah, I see," Joel puts his phone in his pocket, his attention fully fixed on your face. "Well what if I told you it's actually the safest way to travel?"
"I'd call you a liar."
Joel chuckles richly, his hand falling to your knee and squeezing as he laughs. 
"I promise you, I wouldn't take you on anything unsafe. And if all that's not good enough, you'll have Shawn beside you holding your hand the whole time."
You grin at that, nodding. The thought of Shawn being there does help your anxiety. Joel smiles back, eyes crinkling in the corners. 
"Thank you so much for inviting me along in this trip, Joel. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii."
"S'a beautiful place," Joel nods. "And you don't need to thank me. You're practically family at this point." 
Shawn returns with a muffin and two coffees in hand. 
"Hey dad, got you a coffee," Shawn says handing it to his father. 
"Thanks," Joel says gratefully. Just then the intercom alert sounds 
"Good afternoon passengers.This is the announcement for flight 82B for Oahu, Hawaii. We are now inviting passengers to begin boarding. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Thank you.”
“That’s us.”
The lineup goes uncomfortably fast. You stand beside Sean who is talking to Joel behind you, the two of them deep in conversation about football, a subject you couldn't care less about. You are still too preoccupied with the flight, being surrounded by almost all strangers sailing through the sky. 
You're not a fan of heights. So when you get to the door of the plane you hesitate, willing your foot to move. When it doesn't and the flight attendants shoot you a confused look, you feel yourself start to panic. 
Shawn has gone on ahead to grab your seats and place your carry-on bag in the overhead bin, not noticing that you're not behind him. A large hand flies to the small of your back, a comforting gesture. Joel. He rubs there, soothing you. 
"You'll be okay darlin'," he rumbles in your ear. "Remember, it’s safer than drivin' a car."
“Liar.”
Joel’s deep chuckle makes you grin and you allow Joel to gently prod you onto the plane, shooting the waiting attendants grateful looks for their patience. He takes his seat near the front, watching as you make your way to your seat next to Shawn. As you buckle in a thought occurs to you and you move your voice to a whisper.
"Isn't it gonna be kinda weird with us being there all week with just your dad? I mean, sharing the place and all?" 
"Nah, he made sure the rooms were far apart. Plus, he invited his girlfriend to come along so I doubt we'll see much of him."
Joel is a chronic workaholic, often pulling late nights and working on his phone. You’ve seen him out and about with beautiful women at the events Shawn takes you to but never formally dating them. You always assumed to be a lifelong bachelor. You wouldn't blame him, especially after what he's been through with Shawn's mother. 
"I didn't know he had a girlfriend," you say honestly. "Good for him."
"A couple months now," your boyfriend tells you. "You know my dad, mister private. But he took me to dinner and told me about her so I think he's getting serious." 
"That's really sweet," you say honestly. You want nothing but the best for him. 
All of a sudden the plane starts to jiggle, sending people stumbling down the aisles and others gasping in surprise. You reach over and grab Shawn's hand, trying to regulate your breathing. 
"Not so tight, babe," Shawn complains before gently sliding his hand from under yours. "You scratched me with your nails."
"Sorry," you mumble, eyes closed as the jostling of the plane continues.  
You tighten your seat belt before gripping the seat arms so tightly that your knuckles are white. Sean squeezes your kneecap, murmuring that everything will be okay and that you’re safe. You keep your eyes closed, trying to focus on the soothing sounds of his words.
Eventually the plane enters smooth skies and the seat belt sign is turned off. Despite this you remain keyed up, sitting stiffly as Shawn fades into a nap. 
"Excuse me, Miss?"
You crack open an eye to see a beautiful redheaded flight attendant bending down towards you with a glass of what appears to be whisky in her hand.  She extends it towards you and you take it confused.
"This is from the gentleman in A-1. He says to take this and you'll be relaxed for the rest of the flight." 
You look up a few rows to see Joel giving you a brief wave. You thank the women before raising it towards Joel in a Cheers motion. 
Drink it. Joel mouths. 
Yes, sir. You mouth back complete with a stiff fake salute before tossing back the drink. 
He grins at you before settling back in his seat. 
The drink does the job. 
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"Here we are."
The cab drops the three of you in front of the beach resort. When you step out the air is fragrant with the scent of flowers. You wait while Joel checks you all in before he's back, motioning for you both to follow. 
There's the main section of the resort with luxurious hotel rooms. The more secluded section contains a variety of self contained houses that dot the waterfront. Its reserved for people who have unlimited credit card limits and drive cars that cost more than your parents first home.
When you arrive to your unit, your eyes are ready to bug out of your head. It's massive, as far as vacation rentals go. When you all step into the air conditioned unit you have to take a moment to take it all in. 
The beach house is beautiful with floor to ceiling windows, stunning tile floors and tasteful furniture. All of this is topped off with spectacular views of the beach outside your door. 
A plate of sliced pineapple and chilled wine sits on the kitchen table, along with a note that Joel reads when he wanders over. 
"Welcome note," he explains when he sees you looking at it. "I knew the owner back in trade school." 
You and Shawn nod, your boyfriends hand trailing down your back gently. It's much the same as what Joel did back at the airplane, but it feels different. You trail your suitcase behind you hearing the clack of it against the stone floor as you move around the room. 
"Wow." 
It's all you can utter as the three of you tour the rest of the unit. There’s a simple kitchen with an expensive looking coffee machine and a brand new bag of kona coffee waiting to be used.  The living room holds a table and four chairs, a few board games and a list of nearby places to visit along with the wifi code.  The couch is simple, placed in front of a large television that you’re sure you won’t use.
"My bedrooms on the right," Joel tells you both. "Yours it's on the left. We're sharin’ a bathroom, sorry about that. Pretty common in these places." 
Who cares about sharing a bathroom when you're in one of the most beautiful places you've ever been? Even the bathroom is beautiful with its high waterfall shower head and sleek marble. This place must have cost a fortune for the week. 
Joel encourages you both to take a look at your room down the hall and you don't hesitate to take Shawn's hand, dragging him there. Shawn pushes open the door to the bedroom and you can't hold in your shriek. 
"Holy shit! It's gorgeous!" 
The big windows overlook the ocean, the late afternoon beach beckoning to you. The bed is large and plush with white sheets, and framed prints of Oahu sunsets. Its spacious, the bed so large it looks like two giant beds pushed together. The closet is spacious and boats dozens of wood coat hangers.
“Wood, because it’s classy,” you tell Shawn in amusement who is already unpacking his suitcase while you continue to stare in a daze. 
"You like it?"
Joel is standing at the door frame, a shoulder balanced against it, watching you take it all in. He's smiling at you in that gentle, sweet way of his that makes you feel cared for. 
You're suddenly overcome with gratitude and you streak over to him. 
"Thank you, Joel!" You say, throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him. "This is the most beautiful place I've ever been."
Joel laughs along with Shawn at your embrace and enthusiasm, holding you around the middle and hoisting you in his arms. Your face presses into his neck as he squeezes you, and the scent of leather and sandalwood envelops you. 
You've never really hugged Joel before. Maybe a polite side hug during family events, a high-five during baseball games and even once a hard push to his shoulder when he made fun of you for being afraid of a spider that had gotten into the house. 
But you've never had your front pressed to his, never really felt the muscles of his back and arms, seen the tendons in his neck or realized just how big his hands are when they squeeze your waist before lowering you.  
"I guess that means you like it," he says, red-faced. You pull back, embarrassed at your overzealous response. 
Shawn and his dad are very similar in their looks. Except Shawn is clean-shaven while Joel has a beard and Shawn's eyes are hazel like his mom's while Joel's are the darkest brown you've ever seen. You've never really noticed how dark until this very moment. 
You shoot him a cheery thank you again before smiling and skipping over to Shawn announcing that you'll unpack as well. 
"You two enjoy, I gotta make a few calls but then we can head out to dinner."
"Sounds great," Shawn says as he searches for his phone charger. 
Joel closes the door behind him and you turn to your boyfriend. You can't explain it but you feel turned on. The Hawaiian air must be doing something to you because
You crawl towards where he kneels unpacking. You grin, feeling the pulse of desire hitting you below the navel. You kneel beside him, dropping your voice to a husky murmur. 
"Should we break the bed in?" 
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An hour later the three of you are sitting at a local eatery. Joel and Shawn are talking with one another while you scan the busy restaurant. 
Couples, families, all laughing and cheerful. And why wouldn't they? This is Paradise after all. But you don't feel anything like it, if anything, you feel like a little black rain cloud. 
Shawn turned down your earlier advances, citing that he was too tired. The problem is for the past three months Shawn has been too tired most of the time. At first he blamed grad school but when you pointed out he still made lots of time for gaming with best friends Brian and Kevin he'd been quick to explain that gaming relaxed him. 
That conversation had gone over about as well as a turd in the punch bowl. You remember being so hurt at what you felt was a slight against you. Weren't you relaxing? Weren't you something that made him happy? 
So yeah, you had hoped that this little vacation might stir some of that old spark back. But maybe you were too eager. You had just arrived at the place after all. Maybe you were being unfair. Still, the rejection stung.
"Thought we could do all the tourist-y shit while we're here," Joel says after you've all placed your orders. "Luau, sunset cruise."
"Snorkelling?" Shawn offers. 
"Hell yes," Joel nods grinning. "ATV tour too."
The Millers like to have fun. They also like to keep busy. It's like second nature to them to be off on adventures or activities. You meanwhile plan on spending lots of time by the pool or the beach, reading and drinking. 
"What about you, darlin'?" Joel asks between sips of whisky. "What're you hopin' to do?"
You know exactly what. The thing you've been dying to do since you were a kid at the aquarium. 
"I wanna swim with the turtles."
Shawn bursts into amused laughter beside you, and if you weren't already irritated with him before, you certainly are now. He grins at you not understanding that you're secretly furious with him. 
"Turtles? Really?"
"What's wrong with turtles?"
"Seems kinda babyish doesn't it?"
"What's babyish about liking animals?" Joel cuts in. "You forgetting about the time we wouldn't let you in the petting zoo and you threw your shoe at me?"
"I was five, dad."
"Yeah well, some things don't change," Joel says with a smirk. "Still throwin' tantrums when you don't get your way."
"Fuck off old man," Shawn says through chuckles. “Don’t forget I’m your only child. I pick which retirement home I’m gonna stick you in when your mind goes.”
“Little bastard,” Joel mutters, trying to hold back a loud laugh.
He settles for tossing a drink umbrella in Shawn’s direction, chuckling when Shawn dodges it easily. You can't help but laugh along with him, your bad mood fading. 
By the time dessert arrives you're all several glasses of wine in reminiscing about Shawn's last attempt at surfing. 
"I've gotten better," he exclaims. “I swear.”
"Yeah well we'll see about that," Joel says paying the check. "Alright team, let's head back and get some shut eye. This old man needs it." 
You roll your eyes at that. Joel isn't even fifty and even if he was he's about the best looking man his age bracket and younger. You've seen the way women stare at him, whispering, blushing when he looks their way. He is not what you’d qualify as old.
The three of you arrive back at the unit to the sound of nighttime creatures croaking and buzzing. 
"Alright I'll meet you two out here tomorrow morning around nine. We can go to the excursion desk and plan the week. Sound good?"
"Sounds good, night Dad."
"Night Joel."
The three of you part ways into the opposite bedrooms. Shawn nuzzles your neck gently kissing there. He always does that when he's been drinking. You smile delightedly at this, eager to get into bed.
When the lights are off and the two of you have slipped off your clothes and under the covers you roll towards him, peppering his face with soft kisses. 
"It's late, babe," he murmurs, kissing you sweetly but with finality. 
"We're on vacation," you remind him, slipping your hand under his boxers.
You feel him slowly start to harden in your grip. You hear his breath hitch and you smile, knowing those sounds so intimately. You tug off your panties and slide onto his lap, preparing to ride him. 
"Fuck me," you whisper, hips grinding against his. "Wanna feel your cock in me."
“Baby, no.”
Shawn pulls you off of him and you tumble into the bed next to him, feeling your cheeks grow hot with humiliation.
"My dad is right across the hall," Shawn hisses. “I don’t want him hearing us.”
Rejection never sits well with you and immediately you feel yourself growing defensive. 
"You're dad is gonna be across the hall the whole week, Shawn,” you whisper angrily. “So what, we're not going to have fuck this entire trip?"
"We'll have sex," Shawn said rolling his eyes. "Just not when my dad is ten feet away sharing a fuckin' bathroom with us."
Bullshit. Another excuse to put off the intimacy that’s been dwindling for months. You push yourself from the bed, tugging on your dress from earlier. Shawn leans up on his elbows, giving you a look of concern.
"Where are you going?"
"A walk."
"I'll c---"
"No," you say sharp as a knife. "I want to go alone." 
You stalk out of the house, eyes glossy with hurt and anger. That's the thing they don't tell you about relationships that have gone on so long -- both partners need to work to keep the fires going. 
You make your way to the beach along the softly lit pathway. Its well after midnight and the resort is quiet; the lights dimmed or off entirely. You take a seat on a nearby rock, listening to the gentle sound of the evening waters lapping by the shore. You're very excited to go swimming tomorrow. To feel the warm sand underneath your feet. 
You can hear noise coming from the far end of the resort. You remember over dinner Joel going through the resort map on his phone, letting you know what amenities they had. He had told you both about the dance club the resort had.
Shawn had immediately laughed, stating that he’d take a pass on it.  Shawn hates dancing. You tried to get him to do dance lessons with you once but he wouldn't even give it a shot. 
Right now it seems all you can do is focus on Sean's flaws. You know that he's a decent man, you know the treats you well, but there are these bugaboos these irritants that can't help frustrate you right now. 
"Fuck it," you murmur to yourself, raising yourself from the sand and brushing it from your sundress. You follow the sound of the music, stopping in front of a door with blinking lights. A man in a blue Hawaiian shirt smiles at you when you approach. 
"Aloha, may I ask your Unit number?"
"Number 4, under Miller."
The man types into his computer before nodding, opening the door for you. You step into the darkness, letting your eyes adjust to the blue lights and colourful dance floor. The speakers are playing typical vacation music with a heavy bass.
Bodies writhe on the dance floor, half naked in revealing dresses or in the men's case, unbuttoned shirts. You order a drink at the bar, taking it with you as you scout the area for a free chair. A hand on your wrist surprises you.
"Joel?"
Joel is seated at one of the small circle tables nursing what appears to be a tumbler of Scotch. He motions for you to take the free chair next to him and you do gratefully falling into it, your arm bumping his. 
"What are you doin' here? Since when does Shawn dance?" He asks over the bass, grinning. He looks a bit tipsy, his neck red. 
"He doesn't, I'm here alone. I needed to blow off some steam," you tell him over the music. 
"Me too," he says loudly back. "Couldn't sleep. Too excited, I guess." 
You nod, looking back at the dance floor wistfully. Everyone looks like they're having such a fun time, their worries and concerns far away from them as they undulate to the rhythm of the music.  Joel takes another sip of his drink, watching you from the corner of his eyes. 
You wish Shawn was here with you, you wish he was spinning you around on the dance floor. You wish it was like those early years where you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other.
"You and Shawn doin' okay?"
Joel's voice cuts into your confusing thoughts. You glance his way.
"Why do you ask?"
"Cuz I'm a dad," Joel. "And I've been married. And I know what tension between two people looks like." 
You sigh heavily, your mind drifting to earlier. You don’t answer Joel because what would you tell him? You can’t tell your boyfriend’s dad that you’re worried his son is growing distant. You can’t tell him that your sex life has been disintegrating for the past several months. Instead you just shrug.
"You two talked about marriage?"
"What? No.”
You and Shawn have been together a long time, but you have no intention of settling down anytime soon. Sean is still doing his masters and you're loving your job at the museum.
"Good. No, not like that," Joel amends when he sees your stricken expression. "I just mean you're both so young."
"You were younger than us when you got married.”
"Yeah and look where that got me," he says with a scoff. 
"Yeah, well, I think it's just been a long time and we're hitting a rough patch. Nothing we can't overcome," you add quickly. "It's just hard sometimes, you know?"
"Yeah," Joel nods. "I know." 
The two of you lapse into silence, watching the twirling, shouting, laughing people swan around you. You shouldn’t be glum, you should be experiencing life!
"You wanna dance?"
His voice is low and husky in your ear. You start, surprised to see Joel inches from your face. You know he's speaking so close to you because it's so loud in here, but it doesn't stop your pulse from ticking at the shock. 
"Don't really know how.”
"Shit reason. C'mon."
Joel throws back the rest of his drink and drags you onto the dance floor. You laugh as he spins you, both of you almost knocking into an older couple who are taking the dance very seriously. They shoot you both a nasty look and you and Joel have to work hard to muffle your laughter. 
"You're gonna get us kicked out!"
"Nah," Joel shakes his head, spinning you again but closer to him. "I'm too charmin’."
"You think pretty highly of yourself don't you?"
Joel shrugs, laughing as the song ends. Another quick one begins and Joel looks serious. 
"I'm gonna teach you some moves Shawn's mom taught me."
"Okay."
You're surprised, he doesn't really mention Shawn's mother very often. 
You watch as Joel attempts to teach you some simple dance moves. You don't know if it's the stuffy club, the drinks running through your veins or the fact that you're dancing with your boyfriend's dad, but you can't really focus on the steps.
"I give up," you moan after the fifth failed attempt at a two-step. 
"You ain't a quitter," Joel assures you, trying to spin you slowly so you can get your footing. 
You never realized that Joel was such a good dancer. Watching him move his tall body is strangely hypnotizing, mainly because you never expected a man that broad and muscular to move so fluidly. 
"Atta girl," he says proudly when you get some of the footing correct. 
You smirk when you see the women nearby watching him, shooting him smiles. But his focus is on you, teaching you the moves and assuring you: it's alright darlin', we'll get you there just take your time. 
You're having so much fun with him you barely realize that an hour has gone by and you can only tell when you realize the back of your neck is damp with sweat. 
You're about to announce your heading back to the unit when the beat slows and many trickle off the dance floor. It's a slow song, and only the couples remain in the glowing dance floor. 
You go to step off when you feel Joel spin you again, back into his arms. You smile breathlessly up at him, the two of you shiny from perspiration from the dancing and the warm crowded space. 
Joel is looking at you strangely, his eyes luminous in the reflection of the twinkling club lights. When he slides a hand at your lower back and urges your hands around his neck you don't hesitate. You lace your fingers there, shifting from foot to foot.
You feel strange to be dancing with Joel. And not because he makes you feel uncomfortable, it's the opposite, actually. You feel almost too comfortable. Joel’s eyes are trailing over your face, sometimes highlighted by the flash of the DJ’s lights.
“You talked to Shawn about all that’s botherin’ you and this rough patch?” Joel asks out of nowhere.
He looks vulnerable; unlike the Joel you know who is all smiles and jokes.
“Kinda,” you say shyly, looking over his shoulder. “It’s just hard. . . We can both get pretty defensive. Plus, I wonder if I’m maybe being unfair. He’s in school and everything.”
“Uh huh, and you started that museum job didn’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“Pretty demanding job, ain’t it?”
“Yeah.”
Joel gives you a look as he rocks you both from side to side
“Can I say somethin’ you might not wanna hear?”
You nod.
“In my experience, it takes two people to make a relationship. Not one puttin’ in all the effort while the other one has his or her head in the sand.”  
You nod slowly, absorbing his words. The song ends and Joel releases his hands you’re your waist before he announces he has to hit the washroom. You head to the bar for a glass of water and to wait for him. 
"Hi beautiful." 
An Australian man around Joel's age with a moustache is leaning against the bar next to you. His eyes are bleary and red-rimmed, his cheeks ruddy. He’s obviously very drunk. You give a forced smile before going back to wait for your water.
"Can I get you a drink?"
"No thanks," you answer quickly. "Just getting water." 
"How about a dance then?"
"I'm good," you say forcing a polite smile. You’re facing away from him, eyes on the bartender hoping he notices you.  
"C'mon beautiful," the man insists, eyes sliding over your chest in a very obvious way. "I'm a good dancer too. Could give you lots of lessons." 
"She said no."
Joel's voice is there, having clearly come back from the bathroom. You step backwards and before you know it Joel is sliding his arm protectively around you.  You glance up to see Joel's face contorted into a mask of fury. His teeth are bared like some wild animal and he grips you tightly to him. 
"Sorry man," The guy says holding his hands up in surrender towards Joel. "Didn't know she was taken." 
Joel sneers before leading you out of the club. The cool air is a welcome reprieve when you step outside, breathing deeply. 
"That place is nothin' but perverts," Joel growls as the two of you make your way back along the beach in the direction of your unit. 
"Joel,  you were there," you say giggling. "That make you a pervert?"
"Ha ha."
You walk quietly along the shoreline, confused as to how you can feel this good when just an hour ago it felt like everything was falling apart. Maybe it’s the drink in your veins, maybe its Hawaii, or maybe it’s just Joel.
"Watch it--"
Joel takes your hand when you stumble over a rock in the semi darkness. You let him, not dropping it even when your walking evens out. It feels nice to walk hand in hand with him, it feels safe. He doesn't let go of your hand either as you continue along, your shoes making dual footprints in the sand. 
"Thanks for in there," you say. “I hate creepy guys like that.”
"Was nothin'," he says, then he drops your hand after a moment. "Shawn would have done the same."
"No, he wouldn't have." 
It slips out before you can stop yourself. Joel stops in the sand, his concern there in his face. It’s clear that what you’ve said has upset him.
"What?"
"He doesn't like confrontation, you know that," you say with a shrug. "And I like that about him."
"You do?" Joel challenges. "Really?" 
"Sometimes." 
Honestly you’ve never enjoyed the men who start fights for no reason, who act like cavemen when someone looks at their girlfriend. Shawn is too smart for that, too above it to engage with assholes like that. But you have to admit that there was a part of you that found Joel’s actions inside the club to be a bit attractive. Is that the word? Would you really call your boyfriend’s father attractive?
You look at him standing there, his grey t-shirt clinging to his muscles and wide shoulders, the muscular thighs in denim and you think, fuck, yeah he is attractive. You knew he wasn’t ugly, you’d just never looked at him like that. Like he was a man outside of being Shawn’s dad.
"I come from a time when you take care of what's yours." Joel runs a hand through his messy curls. "If you were mine I wouldn't let anyone talk to you the way that man did, let alone touch you." 
If you were mine. 
You can't understand why but you're nipples tighten under your dress at those words. The possessiveness in Joel's voice is so dark and husky. He’s looking off into the dark like he’s really upset.
"If I was yours," you murmur. 
His glazed eyes move from the beach over to your face. You’re standing so close to one another and you can see his chest rising and falling quickly as he breathes. His scotch-coated breath huffs over your cheeks and you swear you’re getting drunker just inhaling it.
You must be, because why else would you be putting your hands on his shoulders. Why else would you be pressing your mouth to his? Why else would you be tracing his plush lips with your tongue and whimpering when he groans into your parted mouth?
And he must be drunk because he doesn’t pull away or hesitate. He dips his head and his hands wrap around your waist, bringing your body against him tightly. His palms slide over your skin, desperate to touch you everywhere as he tilts his head, deepening the kiss. You welcome it, going gooey in his arms, allowing him to take what he wants from you.   
He’s so fucking broad, so strong, so masculine. You gasp into his mouth when he grips your ass with his big hands, pulling your hips against his, circling them as he kisses you. You feel his hardened cock through the layers of fabric, straining against the zipper of his jeans, desperate to bury itself in your slick heat.
To be desired like this feels powerful. It feels like years since Shawn wanted you like this much. It makes you lean more into Joel, desperate to keep the sensation going. His hands are sliding under your dress, up your silken thigh and you tremble.
A splash sounds nearby in the water, a fish or something startling you both and you simultaneously break apart. You both take a step back from one another in the sand, eyes wide. Joel looks completely crazed.
“The fuck—what are we doin’?” Joel whispers, the regret clear in both your faces.
You bring your trembling hands to your warm cheeks and tears immediately spring to your waterline.
What have you just done?
“Oh my fuck, no no, I don’t – I don’t know why-“
You bend at the waist, hands braced on your knees as you start to hyperventilate. Joel is pacing up and down the sand, his silhouette barely seen in the darkness of night. You can see his feet pacing back and forth. . . back and forth . . . He stops when you let out a hiccup, on the verge of throwing up.
“Honey stop,” Joel says, a hand on your back, rubbing gently along your spine. “Calm down. Calm down, its okay.”
“I don’t know why I did that,” you say, tears streaming down your face and dropping into the sand below. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”
“S’not your fault,” Joel says, his voice even and calm. It makes you feel calm. And yet, guilt still bubbles up in your lungs, making a small sob escape.
 “I have to—you need to—I need to tell Shawn. Right now.”
“Hold on,” Joel says roughly, gripping you by the shoulder and urging you to stand. He peers into your face with a grim expression.
“You cannot tell Shawn anythin’.”
“I have to,” you whine.
“It’ll just hurt him,” Joel insists, nodding and hoping you’ll do the same. “It was a mistake. It was nothing, it was just the booze. We just drank too much and we were all hopped up on that asshole inside the club and we weren’t thinkin’.”
“Right,” you agree, relief sliding through every vein you possess as he lays it out for you. “That’s totally what it was. The drinking. We’re drunk.”
“Completely.”
“Okay. Good.”
You’re still shaken up by what just happened, still tipsy from the drinks. Joel runs an anxious hand through his curls, looking utterly wrecked.
“Let’s go back.”
The two of you walk the rest of the way back in silence. You still cannot believe what you did. You kissed your boyfriend’s father. You kissed him and he kissed you back. Fuck, you both must be utterly wasted. Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll both forget it even happened. You would welcome the hangover from hell if it could erase the last fifteen minutes from both your minds for good.
Joel tugs open the sliding glass door, not able to look at you as you both pad towards the opposing doors. You glance over your shoulder to see Joel staring at you as you enter the bedroom where his son sleeps. You give him a sorrowful smile before closing the door.
You crawl under the covers, thankful that Shawn is asleep. You slip off the dress, your hair wild from dancing, your skin sticky with sweat, and your mouth still tasting of scotch. Your cunt flutters at the memory of the noises he made.
You roll onto your side, trying to drift to sleep. Shawn, still half-slumbering snuggles up against your back. His arm slips over your waist and he holds you, as he often holds you back home, gentle and tender and full of love.
“I’m sorry about before, babe,” he murmurs into your hair.
You feel tears burning the back of your eyes. You blink rapidly, closing your eyes and trying to swallow the guilt.
You know that Joel is in his bed right now similarly afflicted, thinking about how he did something so unforgivable and to his own son. Joel is the kindest dad you know; he loves his son more than anything. You know that what you both just did was awful and disgusting.
You also know that there is something deeply wrong with you because as you lay there in Shawn’s arms your pussy floods with memories of his father’s mouth on yours still vivid in your mind.  
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do you guys want more of this? or should it be a one-shot? also trying a new aesthetic what do we tthink?
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